


Colour-Smears Nursery

by gerardopoly



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kindergarten & Pre-school, Awkwardness, Dan is a Dad, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Possible/Eventual smut, Rating May Change, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Teacher Phil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-04-18 05:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4693946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gerardopoly/pseuds/gerardopoly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a rough divorce, Dan Howell is left with full custody of his son Dil. For a while, life at home was calm between their little family, and Dan had started to notice that things for them were starting to look up. Except, Dil is going to begin his first year of nursery school, which puts Dan's mind in a whirlwind of anxiety. With the help of loving friends and one quirky nursery school teacher, perhaps Dan will learn to let things go.<br/>And maybe his little family will grow.</p><p> </p><p> <b>Update - Jan 6, 2017<br/></b><br/>This story is temporarily on hiatus. It will be taken down, and reposted with minor tweaks, completed<br/><a href="https://www.mindtrip.tumblr.com/tagged/updates">Click here for progress/story updates!</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: mentions of past emotional abuse and past child neglection

Dan rolled over in his bed with an annoyed groan and buried his face into his pillow. He knew it was too early to be awake because the sunlight attacked his face behind his closed eyelids.

God dammit, why did Dan leave the curtains open? The sun’s rays casted light just exactly where Dan’s bed was positioned against the wall -- he could feel the warmth of it on his bare back.

The birds chirped loudly outside his bedroom window, he could hear the shrill of the animals in their nest singing to the morning.

Definitely too early. He didn’t have work until the evening.

Dan was about to drift off to sleep again before he took a peek at the digital clock that was sat on his bedside table.

_Monday_

**_8:19am_ **

He squinted at the blinking red numbers for a moment and tried to remember what he was supposed to be up for. Did he have a meeting with the radio producers..? No, that happened last week...

Realization hit him when the door of his bedroom slowly creaked open and a small head of curly brown hair peeked through the door and its frame. Smiling, Dan shut his eyes closed and waited until he heard the pads of small feet wandering towards his bedside.

He felt his duvet being tugged, and with Dan’s weight on top of the spread, he knew the child wouldn’t go tumbling to the ground whilst he climbed his way up to Dan’s mattress.

For a few moments Dan felt shuffling and sheets shifting until a weight settled itself right next to him.

“Daddy?” A small voice asked, “Are you awake?”

Dan fluttered his eyes open and was met with a pair of blue-green ones and a younger smile similar to his own. Dan’s eyes immediately went to the little beauty mark on the boy’s right cheek and stuck his finger directly onto it.

Dan let out a breathy laugh, “Well I am now, aren’t I?”

Rolling over, Dan sat up with a big yawn and stretched his arms above his head. The young boy watched and imitated the gesture before he was being tugged into a hug beside his father.

“G’morning, Dil” Dan said ruffling his hand through the curly strands, being cautious as to not knot it. Jesus, he knew what a nightmare that was.

“What’s the dinosaur doing up so early? I thought dinosaurs were cool and only woke up after the birds stopped chirping.”

Dil’s eyes widened as if he were offended, “No I told you that cool dinosaurs only wake up when they want the ground to stop rumbling. Like that bit in The Land Before Time! Your snores were making the house rumble. So the cool dinosaur had to wake up to stop the rumbling.”

Dan listened, amused, as his son went off on his little rant and mentally restrained himself from letting out a giggle or a smile appear on his face.

He absorbed the information carefully then played along.

“Oh so does that not make me a _cool_ dinosaur then?”

Dil was thoughtful for a moment and traced patterns on Dan’s duvet before mumbling, not meeting his dad’s eyes,

“No daddy, it makesyouuhjrraff…”

Dan leaned closer to Dil with crossed arms, “I’m sorry, what was that?”

The small boy looked up guiltily and sighed, “No daddy, it makes you a giraffe.”

Dan wanted to burst out laughing at the new animal his son had declared him as – which he was quite used to.

Dil loved animals – had been since Dan took him to the zoo when he was two - and this week his son’s interest was completely invested in different types of dinosaurs after Dan picked up The Land Before Time last week at a thrift shop.

For a few days Dan would suddenly be an “awesome” animal like a lion or a bear and then other days Dil would totally make Dan “uncool” and title him with a creature he would deem “boring” – like a turtle or something (except Dil thought the swimming kind were amazing).

Dan peered down at his son and placed a hand on his heart in mock-hurt, “But I thought I was a dinosaur!”

Dil shook his head, “Maybe later… I’m hungry.”

When Dil turned away to hop off the bed, Dan covered his face with his hands and let out a silent laugh, shoulders shaking and all.

“Okay…” Dan pulled away from the bed suddenly, “Alright let’s make some breakfast. Pancakes then?”

His son was already halfway to the door when he enthusiastically replied, “Pancakes then!”

 

 

 

\--

 

Dan was in the middle of grabbing blueberries from the fridge when it suddenly dawned on him that Dil was going to be away for a few hours most of the week – which worried him quite a lot. It was only nursery school, but the thought of leaving his son in someone else’s care scared him, and there were other kids there too, what if they were mean to him? What if Dil got hurt and he wasn’t there? Oh god, why did Dan think this was a good idea – why did anyone do this to their kid? Wh-

“Daddy, are you okay?”

Dan snapped out of his internal breakdown and realized he was still standing in front of the open fridge with a small container filled with blueberries in his hand. He turned his head and looked to Dil who was sat at their little table with a pancake in front of him, waiting for his blueberries.

Dil had a look of concern on his small face as his little hand gripped onto his fork.

Dan looked back to the blueberries and closed his eyes for a moment and let himself breathe before he made his way toward Dil and popped a few berries on top of his son’s pancake.

He created a smiley face.

“Yes, I’m alright…”

Dil looked up at his father as he pushed some curls out of his eyes and smiled widely, “Good! Because today you’re going to be a llama because llamas are pretty cool,” he paused to stick a blueberry in his mouth, “and I get to see Darcy and aunt Louise today! Be a llama, daddy.”

Dan looked down at his son fondly before kissing the top of his head, “Alright, I’ll be the llama.”

 

Everything would be fine.

 

\--

 

Everything was not fine.

Dan and Dil walked up the pavement to his son’s nursery school with his nerves strung high. He hadn’t met the teacher yet and the idea of a non-child-friendly person would be leading the class rolled around in his mind. To be honest, he just wanted to snatch Dil up and take him back home. He could just have Dil enter directly into year one. It’s not like nursery school was really needed – it was just a playschool for God’s sake.

He felt a little guilty for having Dil skip a year of Nursery school already – and Louise had talked him into it – she coined the idea that it would be good for Dil… and Dan had thought so too.

Of course, after Louise had talked some sense into him.

The idea of his son leaving to school just terrified him, after losing Dil’s mum in the picture, he wanted to be the one always there for Dil.

Dan sighed, his boy was growing up.

He looked around, taking in the school’s exterior and noticed the blue lettering atop of the school building.

_Colour-Smears Nursery_

It was very clean – the courtyard was lined with bushes and trees – Dan could smell the freshly-cut grass and noticed that the lawn was very well kept. Right down the middle of the yard was a stone path that led up to the entrance which seemed to be painted in splotches of colours, as if the children themselves painted it.

There were windows on either side of the door where Dan could see pots of different flowers sitting atop the sills in colours that complimented the school’s exterior.

As the little family walked up the pathway, they passed by wooden picnic tables placed under one of the many red and yellow oak trees where Dan thought the parents would sit and wait until they were free to pick up their children – which made him feel a little better if he believed. Dan didn’t want to be overbearing though.

Dil skipped ahead of Dan once he caught sight of Darcy and Aunt Louise through the open door and darted around the mother and her daughter walking in front of them.

“Sorry! ‘Scuse me!” Dil exclaimed over his shoulder, where Dan could see his son greeting his friend inside.

Dan caught the closing door and let a parent and child enter before he walked into the building himself.

Immediately his eyes were met with more colour. Posters decorated the walls with different species of animals, realistic and drawn, with optimistic quotes along the bottom. On the very far side of the room was a whiteboard, just tall enough for the three and four year olds that filled the classroom. In front of it, there was a large round red carpet and a chair – presumably where the teacher would sit – with a calendar pinned to the whiteboard with a magnet.

The left side of the room was lined with tiny colourful cabinets filled with various types of toys, including a little toy kitchen area and stacks of board games like Connect-Four and Candyland.

Dan looked down and noticed the carpet was not so ordinary, for it was not monochrome like normal at all.

Instead, the carpet resembled a giant game of Tetris, with colourful blocks stacked in some places while some stood scattered across the room as if they were falling.

Holy crap _,_ where the hell did they get a carpet like that? Dan should ask-

“Uncle Dan!”

The sound of a little girl’s voice jolted Dan out of his thoughts.

He stared ahead for a moment before he gazed down at the little blonde girl with a pink bow in her hair and a matching dress. She looked up at him as if she were looking at the sky with arms stretched wide and waited for a hug.

A smile spread across Dan’s face as he kneeled down to her level and engulfed her into a hug.

“Hello miss Darcy, you look lovely today.”

Darcy giggled as she pulled away, “Thank you!” She looked around for a moment before she pointed to the right side of the room, “Mummy and Dil are over there!”

He followed her gaze when he noticed that most of the parents were gathered around tiny tables and chairs. He couldn’t see what they were crowded around but decided to investigate for himself.

Dan nodded towards the group, “Show me the way.”

Darcy grinned brightly before grabbing hold of Dan’s fingers and led him toward the group - though he was stumbling because of the height difference – and directly to Louise who was stood outside the group talking to Dil who seemed to be going off on one of his stories.

Seeing Louise helped calm him down a little bit.

Though the school looked clean and inviting, and the inside had definitely looked like a friendly environment, he was nervous upon meeting the teacher. He knew the instructor was a man and that he was around his age, but that was about the only information he had.

Dammit, why didn’t he double-check this information before he left? What was the man’s name – Pete? Lance? Paul Lancaster? Dan couldn’t remember. He should have searched the man’s name up before bringing Dil here oh God-

“Dan, are you alright?” Louise’s voice sounded into Dan’s ears and he jumped suddenly, caught off-guard. He really had to stop doing that. Jesus Christ.

Louise’s eyebrows were narrowed in concern as she held Darcy’s hand while Dil stood quietly next to them. Dil looked up to his father, craning his neck to get a glimpse of the worried look Dan must have had in his eyes.

“Darcy? Dil? Go on and grab a juice over there.” Louise pointed momentarily to a small table set up with juice boxes and crackers, other small children waited in the little queue to get their share as a young woman passed out the items, “I’ll come get you two in a little bit, okay?”

Darcy and Dil nodded up at Dan’s best friend and turned to leave. Before doing so, Dil looked over at his father with a big smile on his face, “Be the llama dad! Llamas are cool, remember?”

Dan visibly relaxed and winked in response, he could hear Louise giggle quietly.

 “Yes Dil, I’ll be the llama.”

Dil gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up which earned him one in return before the small boy skipped away with his blonde friend.

Dan watched them go and he smiled to himself.

He briefly thought of how Dil was literal sunshine to his life. He was happy towards the fact that every little thing his son said or told him reminded him that Dil was everything good in his life. Most of all, he was immensely grateful that he had won full custody. 

A hand was placed on his shoulder, “What’s going on in that giant brain of yours?”

Dan turned his gaze towards Louise, who he knew would see right through him if he dared to even try to seem level-headed. She was his closest friend, and after going through so much with Dan and his life, she was able to read him like an open book.

Dan knew he was dwelling on irrational fears, but he couldn’t help it. He had enrolled his kid into nursery school a year late which meant next year he would start primary – just the thought of it scared him. He just didn’t want time to slip between his fingers. He was afraid of Dil being mistreated or having a bad experience while in school like Dan had many years ago.

Dan was scared.

Louise put a hand on one of her hips, “You’re not having second thoughts are you?”

Dan sighed and shook his head, “No… just nervous. You know-” he gestured to everything around him, “-about all of this.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and watched as Dil and Darcy laughed about something from afar while they snacked on crackers and juice. Dil’s smile was big as he laughed with coloured eyes bright and happy – and the class hadn’t even started yet.

No, Dan wasn’t going to back out now. Dil had been so excited and he didn’t have the heart to suddenly tell him he couldn’t go to the “playschool” anymore.

Louise followed Dan’s gaze and smiled at the two children, “Don’t worry, Daniel. He’s going to be just fine. It’s only going to be four hours a day – not even for the whole week either,” she laid a comforting hand across his back and looked up at him.

“He’s got Darcy here... And I’ll be here. So you’re not completely alone.”

Dan rolled his eyes and smiled, “Yeah thanks… Probably would have left by now if you weren’t.”

“Good.” Louise patted him on the back, “If he doesn’t like it, pull him out. If he does, let him stay. Yeah? Also, you don’t have to just leave him here. You could stay for a while then wait outside. There are plenty of parents that do that you know.”

Dan nodded, more to himself, he could do that.

“Yeah, I think I could do it. We’ll both see how it goes I guess. Thanks, Louise.”

He swung an arm around her and gave her a hug that meant more than his appreciative words.

He knew she understood the message as well.

Louise squeezed back reassuringly and smiled kindly back up at him.

 “No problem.”

When they turned around to see where their children had gone, they noticed the crowd of parents had dispersed and were now stood along the walls as their children scattered around the room, exploring their new environment.

Dan could see from across the room that Dil and Darcy had found the box of large dinosaur toys, for Dil didn’t have some of his own… yet. The little boy was waving his arms around, imitating the sounds with his mouth as Darcy laughed.

The two parents heard someone approach them from behind along with the sound of someone clearing their throat.  Curious, Dan and Louise spun around momentarily.

They were met with a tall dark-haired man, perhaps slightly shorter than Dan, with kind deep not-so-blue eyes and a gentle smile. A blue and black checkered shirt adorned his body along with some black skinny jeans.

In Dan’s opinion, his clothing brought out the man’s eyes, but he wasn’t going to say that.

He stood tall with his hands behind his back in a polite manner before speaking,

“Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Phil Lester and I will be teaching this class for the year.”

Wow, okay. Deep voice. It caught Dan off-guard for a moment.

Suddenly nervous upon the fact Dil would be in this man’s care, he didn’t want to leave a bad impression. He decidedly stood up straighter and extended out a hand hoping he didn’t seem as anxious as he felt.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Lester. I’m uh, Dan. Dan Howell. I’m Dil’s father. He’s-“ quickly, he darted his eyes around the room searching for his son to find him in the same place as before with Darcy, “-over there playing with the dinosaurs.” There was shakiness to Dan’s voice that he himself didn’t like.

He mentally told himself to calm down. For God’s sake, it was nursery school. Why was he so scared? It’s not like Dil’s education was on the line, Jesus Christ.

Mr. Lester casted his gaze toward the direction Dan was looking in and spotted the boy. The man nodded and turned to Dan again, this time he spoke softly and dropped his arms to his side.

“I hope he likes it here. I don’t believe I’ve seen either of you around?”

Dan made a thoughtful hum, “No, it’s a first for both of us. I hope he likes it too…”

Mr. Lester smiled and nodded as he put his hands in his pockets, “If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to ask. I want everyone here to feel comfortable and welcome here, especially if it’s a first time. If it makes you comfortable, you can stay during sessions. Some parents like to do that.”

Mr. Lester’s eyes had softened and his voice was downright comforting, Dan felt his shoulders start to relax in his presence after being strung up with nerves since this morning. His tight smile faltered to a small, genuine one and he nodded in response.

“Thank you, Mr. Lester.”

Mr. Lester shook his head, but smiled back, “Please, call me Phil.”

Dan let out a nervous laugh and stepped to the side subconsciously with the intention of shifting his weight. Though, he soon discovered that was a bad idea when suddenly his shoulder was met with a shelf and in turn, a box of Legos fell to the ground with a crash, startling himself and everyone around him.

“Shit- I mean- Fu- I mean-“

Pairs of eyes instinctively looked his way, parent and child, and he felt his face immediately start to flush with embarrassment. Oh God, Dan wanted the Earth to swallow him up right then and there.

Dan internally slapped himself with how stupid and clumsy he was. He shouldn’t be allowed to talk - or move - for that matter. Of course something like this would happen to him. Jesus Christ.

“I’m so sorry, let me clean this up. I’m so-“

Dan bent down and began to scoop up the little multi-coloured pieces into his hands. He knew his face was scarlet red and he was slightly overwhelmed with what an awkward nerd he was – he would deal with that later.

From the corner of Dan’s eye, he could see that Phil had knelt beside him as he helped pick up the scattered Lego pieces without saying a word.

Dan couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes now. He just swore out loud in front of the teacher and his class of children and made a mess in about two seconds flat.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Phil whispered to Dan, who was frantically trying to clean up while readying himself to get the hell out of the classroom before he was kicked out.

“It was an accident. There’s no need to worry.”

Dan guessed that Phil could see how on-edge he was – he wasn’t exactly calm with his actions – his hands gripped the tiny pieces tightly which dug into his skin while he threw them back into its box.

Dan stopped for a second and closed his eyes to let himself breathe. Right, just calm down.

He opened them to meet Phil’s gaze, who did not look angry at all. Instead, there was a small smile that played at his lips while pale hands calmly cleaned up the mess.

“Plus, I don’t think anyone near the play-area heard you. It’s okay, it happens.”

Dan nodded solemnly, mostly disappointed in himself, and put the last few pieces back into the box.

 “Sorry… I’m just- yeah. Sorry, that won’t happen again,” he laughed anxiously and let out a deep breath. God, he didn’t want to know what this teacher thought of him right now.

“You’re alright. At least you weren’t like this one parent who once came in here and swore like a sailor in front of the children. I was getting angry phone calls all day inquiring about the new ‘vocabulary’ the children learned that day,” Phil shook his head and giggled at the memory as they both stood up and put the box back onto the shelf.

He dusted off his knees and hands and shrugged along with that same soft smile on his face.

“Really, there’s no need to worry.”

Dan willed himself to take deep breaths. He wasn’t angry, right, just cool it.

“Thanks M – Phil,” he sighed. “I think I’m going to go outside for a moment.”

Phil gave him a look with his eyes that meant he understood and let Dan excuse himself. 

And with that, Dan spun around and headed for the door.

When he made his way outside, he was met with the cool September air to which Dan greeted as he allowed it run over his face and body. While it was still chilly, the sun was high in the sky, shining brightly over the land that cast patches of light through the falling leaves. It warmed his skin if he stayed directly in its rays long enough.

Dan walked towards one of the wooden picnic benches and sat on the one closest to an oak tree whose leaves fell whenever a breeze swept through the courtyard.  

He dusted off the bench and sat down for a few minutes as he watched the traffic pass by and down the road.

He put cold hands up to his face and sighed.

Even though Dan displayed just how socially awkward he was, he knew Dil was going to be just fine.

 

A little while after Dan retreated outside to cool down, Louise had followed him shortly after and offered to walk down to the small cafe that was located just around the corner for some coffee. Dan agreed and they travelled together side-by-side in silence to the short distance.

The small shop was not very crowded, thankfully. There seemed to be only a few students dispersed throughout the café in individual tables. They probably were taking advantage of the free wi-fi if the laptops sat in front of them told him anything.

Dan and Louise decided to take a small booth - with unfairly comfortable red seats, holy crap - near the wide window overlooking the street and line of shops stretched across one wall. The smell of freshly-baked pastries wafted around them as employees tended to their customers. 

It was fairly warm inside so the two of them took off their coats and sat across from each other. 

A young man quickly took their orders before they were alone again. 

"So... what happened back there?" Louise started conversationally and looked at Dan with an amused smirk.

Dan dropped his gaze and started fiddling with the napkin in front of him. Louise was going to tease him for days. 

He thought back to that moment in the classroom and cringed at himself for being an idiot - he had not only made a mess but he had actually swore out loud in front of dozens of children and their parents - including the teacher for Christ's sake. 

 "I dunno, I was being my awkward giant self and decided to destroy a classroom." 

 "Dan Howell for most impressionable parent of 2014." 

 "Shut up."

Louise just laughed at Dan's dirty look and took her own drink when their waiter came back with their cups of coffee. They bid him thanks before turning back to one another. 

 "Well, at least he didn't kick you out right then and there. He was really nice about it."

 Dan raised an eyebrow while he lifted his cup to his lips. 

 "Right. I could just imagine what he was really thinking. At least we both know who's definitely not going to be part of the PTA in the future."

 "Oh, quit being so hard on yourself. I knew how anxious you were, I think he saw that too."

Dan shrugged, "Just... whatever. It was embarrassing. It's done. I will cringe about it in the future while I'm washing the dishes or something."

Louise hummed in response and just like that, the incident was dropped from further discussion.

The two sat quietly for a few moments as they switched from checking their phones to observing the passersby outside of the shop through the window beside them. It was comfortable for a while until Dan decided to break the silence.

 "She wants to visit us."

 Louise’s head shot up quickly from her phone to Dan's face whose expression was completely void of emotion. Though he knew she could see right through him and knew how he was really feeling. Dan dropped his eyes and stared at the cream swirling around in his second cup of caffeine and thought back to the endless texts and phone calls he had been receiving for the past two weeks. 

He didn't want to see Summer anytime soon - or ever. Just two years ago, he had been given the keys to his new flat with Dil in his arms. For one year, he was happy and relieved to be away from his ex as he took care of Dil on his own. Even before then, he was the one who bathed and fed their toddler. Dan was the one who had sung him to sleep. Dan was the one who had potty-trained him. Dan gave Dil cuddles and smiles whenever a storm passed over their home. Dan was the one who made sure Dil was happy and healthy. 

He bandaged his little scrapes and cuts from when he fell down. He kissed it better. Dan made it better.

Summer made everything terrible. 

Dan knew that Summer didn't give one shit about either of them. She must have had some nerve contacting him - leaving voice-mails about how much she missed them made him sick. 

He knew he was getting angry just at the thought of her and told himself to calm down. 

The grip on his mug loosened. 

When he looked back up, Dan was met with a mix of disgust and disbelief on his friend's face. Louise had known what an awful person Dan’s ex was to the two of them, for she had dealt with Dan’s battle for custody over Dil all whilst tumbling through a horrific divorce.

"You're joking." 

Dan shook his head slowly.

"Wish I was." 

He sipped at his coffee before he continued. "She's been calling me for weeks. Probably got my number from Eliza or something."

"Have you talked to her at all?" 

"Told her to leave me alone after the first few calls. The next week, the texts started to come. Told her she really needed to fuck off. An angry voicemail came loaded with reasons about how I was apparently a terrible parent - keeping her away from her own son - you know.”

He huffed at the memory of the first few calls, angry that she decidedly attempted to jump back into his life and apart of Dil's. He couldn't care less about the insults thrown at him. However, what really struck a chord inside him was when she said that he would never be all of what Dil needed. 

That was one fear Dan held with him ever since he left.

 He had dealt with Summer's manipulative behavior since the moment she told him she was pregnant up until he realized how much damage she was inflicting on him and their relationship. For a long time, Dan believed that he was everything wrong with their unstable relationship. Lies and insults were thrown at him whenever Summer was upset which resulted in countless apologies and promises to her that he would do better in a continuous cycle.

Dan believed her for a long time, until Louise jumped into his life and stayed as his friend.

He desperately wanted to salvage their relationship as a family, he really did. Dan wanted her to change.

The night he returned from a day trip down south to visit family was one he would never forget.

Dan had arrived home with a crying, hungry Dil whose diaper hadn’t been changed for hours. The child had been alone all day in the dark house, swaddled in soiled clothes. The house was completely empty and showed no sign of anyone home during the day.

Summer was nowhere to be found.

The rage that followed fueled him into everything he could to ensure that Dil would never be in her care. Dan battled for over a year and worked towards everything he could against the woman who had abused him and their son.

Dan won in the end, though emotionally and physically exhausted, he knew Dil would be safe.

Dan didn’t want to think about it anymore.

"Are you going to go to someone about it?" When Louise spoke it snapped Dan out of the little black hole he was headed into before he let himself sink. 

"If she calls one more time. I'll definitely do something about it. No need to worry there." Dan declared firmly, and put the mug down a little more forcefully than he had intended. He had made his point clear several times now and he didn't want to let her disturb his peace. 

Louise smiled towards Dan's change in attitude. "Good. That bitch doesn't deserve either of you. She must be a piece of work if she thinks she could walk in and attempt to be a part of your lives again after all the trouble she caused."

Dan smiled back and thought back to the months when Louise fought alongside him against his ex, and was forever grateful for Louise's companionship. 

 

\--

 

After an order of a couple of banana muffins, they decided to head back to the school yard where they sat under one of the oaks and onto one of the wooden picnic tables. It was still fairly chilly outside even if the day slowly sunk into the early afternoon, so Dan kept his hands in his coat pockets and sat with Louise. Some parents were sitting around too, as they chatted amongst themselves or stood quiet and waited patiently until it was time to take their children home. 

 "You should sign up to be a parent helper," Louise said casually while scrolling through her phone. Dan looked up, interested, and waited for her to continue. "You'll get called in at different times - or the day before. Usually when the kids are doing something crafty that day." 

 She set her phone down and turned to him fully. "I did it last year and at first I thought it was going to be exhausting - handling multiple children and all - but really, it's a bit fun. You should talk to Phil about it." 

 At the mention of Phil's name, Dan thought back to when he had made a complete fool out of himself that morning and wondered if the teacher would accept him. Though, Dan considered the idea. It's not like he did anything for most of the day except when he left to work towards the evening. The thought of helping out in the classroom seemed appealing enough, if Dil was in the picture. 

And hell, it could be fun. 

 He thought to himself for a moment before nodding, "I'll think about it." 

 Louise nodded back and resumed to whomever she was texting on her phone. 

 After about ten minutes, the front doors of the school started to open. Dan could see Phil step out with the children in tow behind him who were smiling and waving towards their parents with pieces of paper flailing about in their hands. Dan tried to find Dil but decided that he must be in the back when he was unable to spot him.

Swiftly, Phil kicked the door-stopper down so that it stood open and turned back to speak with the children. Dan couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, but judging by the little nods the kids responded with, they apparently agreed with him. 

The small children filed out one door and behind their teacher. Once they were all outside, some of them immediately went to tug on Phil's pant leg along with a tiny pointed finger toward one of the adults standing around him.

Oh, that made sense, Dan thought. The kids told Phil where their parent was and let them go after ensuring they were being picked up by the right person. 

Dan scanned the little faces and spotted Dil who was currently sporting colours of paint on his hands and a bit on his cheek. Dan smiled wide when he spotted him. It had only been a few hours, but after having Dil in his care almost all the time, it was fair to say that he missed his son.

He noticed that Dil didn't have a piece of paper in hand like the other kids had and wondered why and what it was. 

Dan was about to wave him down but stopped when Dil turned to Darcy and watched as the boy darted back inside the building.

Huh. 

He turned to Louise who also had the same puzzled, but amused, look. 

The amount of kids started to dwindle down after minutes of waiting under the oak. The sun was higher in the sky now and parents had come and gone. Dan watched the little ones skipping alongside their parent and waited until his son wandered back outside.

Finally, the little curly-haired brunette exited the building just as Darcy pointed out Louise to Phil and came running towards her mother beside him.  Phil seemed to notice that he was the only parent left waiting as he smiled and waved to him from the door. Dan waved back with his own smile and briefly noticed that the teacher had put on glasses he hadn't been wearing when he met him. And he too, had paint streaks on his hands and checkered shirt. 

The glasses definitely suited him, Dan thought.

“I need to get going. We promised my mum that we would visit her for lunch. Call me later, yeah?”

“I’ll call you later, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

They hugged and bid each other goodbye with added thanks from Dan for the coffee and chat. As always, Louise told him he needn’t worry about it and reminded him about applying as a class help before they turned away and left.

When Dan turned his attention back to the school’s entrance, he saw that Phil and Dil, though running, were headed towards him. This time a coloured piece of paper was gripped in his hand.

Seeing his son racing towards him made Dan's heart grow about two sizes before he knelt down to his level so that Dil crashed into his arms. The boy instinctively wrapped his arms around his father's neck.

 "Daddy! Look!" Dil cried happily when he pulled away, eyes bright with excitement. He waved his little hand that had the piece of paper in it. "Mr. Lester painted with us! We-" he stopped to catch his breath, "painted things we liked. Look!" 

 Dan was elated with Dil's energy which seemed to resonate back to him. He could tell Dil definitely had a wonderful time and he couldn't wait to hear all about it on the ride home.

 "Let me see here," Dan took the paper from Dil and smiled as he examined the picture. Dil had painted all the animals he liked. Taking up most of the space was a giant T-rex painted purple, and at the bottom were lions and bears painted all sorts of bright colours. The image was complete with a background of rather large stalks of green grass and a volcano erupting in the distance. Dan was quite impressed.

This was definitely going to be put up somewhere. 

 "It looks beautiful, Dil! I love it.”

And he really did. 

Dan looked closely once more and then noticed something painted in the sky-blue paint. It was a light-brown coloured... llama?

He pointed an index finger to the animal with an amused grin, "Is that a llama?"

Dil giggled a little before shaking his head. "That's you!" 

Dan burst out laughing at the little llama that seemed to be cheekily floating about in the sky. His son was brilliant. 

"Oh my god, I love it!" Dan was smiling so wide, his cheeks were starting to hurt. He laughed once more and shook his head fondly before pointing to the dinosaur. 

"Is that big cool dinosaur you, then?" 

Dil looked at the ground then, trying to hide his smile but shrugged.

He definitely drew himself as the dinosaur, Dan concluded.

“It really is a wonderful painting. I like the colours of the lion, it would be amazing if they looked like that in real life, wouldn’t it?”

Dan completely forgot that his son’s teacher was stood in front of them. He hitched Dil up onto his hip and turned to smile at the man before him.

“It definitely would, right Dil?” Dan turned to look at his son who seemed to be thinking deeply about the question before answering.

“Yeah… but then they wouldn’t be able to hide. They need to hide to catch food and eat too…”

Dan and Phil exchanged amused, and rather impressed, glances upon Dil’s logical answer and both nodded in agreement.

“You’re absolutely right. Great thinking, Dil. You would be a great animal doctor, or perhaps you will own a zoo someday. Possibly both.”

Dil visibly lit up towards Phil’s idea and gave his teacher a pleased grin. “I will, Mr. Lester!”

Phil giggled delightfully, light and happy, with his tongue sticking out ever so slightly and Dan would be lying if he didn’t think that was adorable. The way the teacher’s eyes crinkled along with his laugh made Dan chuckle aloud and decided it was contagious.

After the laughs died down, Phil just smiled happily, “Alright. Well, I’ll be sure to be the first to get tickets to your zoo. In the meantime, I have to get back and deal with boring adult stuff, but I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Dil bid his teacher goodbye with an enthusiastic wave and a large smile. Dan was about to do the same until he remembered about applying to help in the classroom.

“Oh! There’s one thing I wanted to ask about before we leave, if it’s not too much trouble?”

Suddenly, Dan was overcome with a little wave of nervousness. What if Phil didn’t accept him or like him enough to be around the children and help. It wouldn’t be a surprise since what happened earlier that morning but-

“It’s no problem at all, what can I help you with?”

Again, there was that relaxed, tranquil look that adorned Phil’s face along with his gentle voice. Why did Dan find that so comforting?

“Well,” Dan started and shifted Dil up higher onto his hip, “I was wondering if you needed a parent helper to you know, help out during class time and things of the sort? I’m free during the mornings a lot and I.. I dunno, it seemed like a nice idea.”

Dan bit his lip nervously as Phil calculated his thoughts. Oh God, he was about to get rejected – he was stupid to ask-

“Yeah, that’s completely fine with me! You’ll be required to sign some papers as well as being finger-printed and background-checked and all before you start, but yeah. It’d be great to have you help.”

Dan tried not to let out an audible exhale, but he was relieved – and happy – that Phil didn’t think of him as a bad person to not accept him. Dan just smiled widely instead, filled with gratitude.

“Thank you so much! That’s great, uh, where might I acquire those papers?”

“I have them in my office inside the school. It shouldn’t be very hard to get them done. We mostly just need to know you’re not some kind of predator - or alien out to steal the children for secrets or something like that.”

Dan snorted at the bit toward the end of Phil’s sentence but nodded.

“Come with me, I’ll lead you to my office and I’ll provide you with the forms.” Phil explained with a smile before beckoning them to follow.  

The teacher led them into the now-empty classroom which seemed to be a mess as there were toys littered all over the floor as well as paint splattered on top of the rows of little tables. Dan felt bad for whoever had to clean that up.

As they followed, Dan tried not to look at the lanyard dangling from one of Phil’s back pockets. It was distracting.

Phil’s office was on the farthest side of the room, and as they ventured inside, Dan immediately took notice of the numerous figurines and small plush toys scattered on top of the teacher’s desk and around the little room.

He tried not to say anything about the adorable Totoro and Catbus sat on top of a filing cabinet.

Dan was so enthralled by Phil’s office and belongings that he didn’t notice that Phil was already handing the forms to him with an outstretched hand.

“As I’ve said, it’s mostly just safety precautions. You could turn it back in to me when you’re all done and we should be set!”

Dan took the papers from him and smiled widely.

“Alright. Awesome, this’ll be great. Thanks so much, again. Mr. Lester, you have no idea how much better this makes me feel. I had been so nervous…”

Dan hadn’t meant to confess those feelings he held out loud, but he was seriously looking forward to working in the class while his son was happy and having fun just experiencing it. Dan really had nothing to worry about.  

“It’s really no problem. I’m happy you feel that way. Just come to me whenever you need something, alright?”

Dan agreed and thanked him again once more before he bid the teacher goodbye and started for the door.

“Oh, and remember,” the teacher called once Dan and Dil were half-way out the door.

“You could just call me ‘Phil’.”

This time, boxes filled with Legos did not fall over, but a light blush had found its way to Dan’s cheeks.


	2. two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Dan's first day as a class help!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Enjoy your day at pre-school!

It was a week after Dil’s first day of nursery school, and Dan couldn’t be more contented towards the idea. For most of the week, Dil had left his class in bright spirits with the way his eyes smiled along with his beaming grin which held endless stories he was yet to deliver to his father while on the car rides home. Dan listened to his son and hung onto every story Dil was telling him from the backseat – about what the class had done that day, or how Mr. Lester read them stories with funny voices, and how he was starting to make friends.

Dan smiled and laughed when Dil did, and he couldn’t express into words towards how much anticipation he held for those moments everyday just to hear his little boy talk about his time at ‘playschool’.

During the week, he had taken it upon himself to get the “assistance” forms signed and processed before the first week was over. Dan was slightly nervous upon participating with the class of small children. He had only ever taken care of Dil – and sometimes Darcy – and that was the extent of his care experience.

From the mornings he would walk Dil to his class, he knew that the pupil count consisted of around a little over a dozen kids, and even though they were small, Dan was quite intimidated. Dan really didn’t want another incident like the first time to occur, swearing and all, so he knew he had to censor himself. Really, he was capable of not using any form of profanity since he had Dil with him all the time and also from working at the radio station.

He just hoped that – one: he did not accidentally get hurt – or two: he did not fuck something up.

Being the awkward giant that he was, the latter was inevitable.

Other than being intimidated by an adequate amount of tiny 4-year-olds, he was doing okay. Life at work was running just fine. When it was time for Dil to come home, he often took him out for the day to do some grocery shopping and things of the sort before returning home for a little while. Sometimes they would pass time by watching a movie together, or Dan would follow along Dil’s imaginative mind and play with his son in his fictional world.

Dan would then drop Dil off at Louise’s at times, especially if he knew that work was going to keep him late, and other times Dil just went along with him and explored the studio while keeping himself occupied with his favourite things stored in his carry-on bag.

For the moment, Dan’s life was pretty calm. Summer had stopped trying to contact him, which had left him a bit suspicious at first, but he was happy that the voice-mails and texts discontinued. Dil was doing just fine at his new school, and work was never better for he and PJ, his co-worker and companion radio host, had received their own web segment on Fridays which significantly upped their pay.

It was fair to say that life was good at the moment.

On Sunday night, Dan was tucking Dil into bed, pulling the green, blue, and yellow checkered duvet over him as he said goodnight. The boy’s eyes were heavy with sleep, drooping closed and open as he tried to stay awake.

“But…” A yawn escaped his mouth and Dan smiled, “I want you to read what happens next in _The First Unicorn_ …”

Dan pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead before gazing down sleepily at him.

“I know, we can find out what happens tomorrow night. You need to rest, though. You’ve got playschool tomorrow.”

Dil nodded, eyes closed this time, “Okay… Goodnight, daddy. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Dil shook his head and pulled the purply-blue plush squid Dan had given him when he was barely born and sighed sleepily. “No, I do…”

Dil was fast asleep.

Dan smiled fondly before letting go of his own yawn and decided he would head off to bed as well. He was going to help Phil in the classroom tomorrow for the first time, so getting a good night sleep would be a good idea.

He turned on the little nightlight which casted stars around the little room before slipping into the hallway and shutting his son’s bedroom door.

Tomorrow would be a new day.

 

 

The next morning was a repeat of last Monday. The birds were singing pleasantly outside his window, and the sun’s rays were gleaming through the glass, creating a glow around his room. Though, Dan had forgotten yet again to close the curtains, which resulted to a retreat under his blankets.

It was time to get up.

Dan had cooked Dil French toast for breakfast, per his request, and after an episode of Winnie the Pooh – which was Dil’s favourite show of all time (seriously Daddy, I wish I was Christopher Robin!) – the two were headed off to Colour-Smears.

Dan didn’t really know what to expect, he had forgotten to ask when Phil rang him on Sunday, telling him that he would be needed for the day. The teacher told him that the children would be working on a little art project on Monday, and that he would give him further details once he arrived to the school that day.

Even though he was still a little anxious, he was definitely looking forward to seeing what Dil’s days had been like for the last week. He wanted to see what caused his son to become a little ball of happy energy whenever it was time to pick him up on the weekday afternoons.

Then Dan remembered that Dil didn’t know that he would be helping out in his class today.

He smiled to himself and decided he would surprise him instead.

Once they arrived, earlier than usual, Dil asked if he could be given a piggy-back ride to school since Dan was declared a “unicorn” over breakfast that morning.

Dan suspected it was the nightly bedtime stories.

So Dan had run at a leisurely pace up the stone path with Dil laughing with joy on his back. The door was open, so Dan went straight into the classroom and stopped once they were inside, though a little out of breath because who exercises? Not Dan.

“The prince has arrived! What an honour it is to have you here. ” Came Phil’s voice from somewhere in the room. Dan turned around and found the teacher collecting glitter and various crafts from a cupboard. He was wearing his glasses and this time a red and black checkered shirt was his choice of clothing to which Dan decided Phil suited quite a lot.

A smile found its way to Dan’s lips as he watched Phil walk over to them.

“Daddy’s a unicorn today!” Dil exclaimed as Dan crouched down and gently set Dil back on his feet.

“My, what an odd-looking unicorn, Your Royal Highness.” Phil laughed, and set the craft supplies on the little table area. Dil giggled while Dan feigned offense.

“I’m majestic as heck!”

Phil’s eyes widened as he covered his mouth with one hand, “It speaks! Dil! Where did you find this creature?”

Dil laughed harder at his teacher’s shocked expression and rushed to Phil’s side, away from the inherent “creature”.

“Quick, Dil! Before it gets us!” Phil cried with faux fear and ran with Dil trailing quickly behind him to the other side of the room near the play-area. Dan watched as the teacher grabbed one of the foam swords from the toy-box and handed one to Dil. Dan was grinning before the scene, extremely amused.

Suddenly, Phil kneeled down to Dil’s level and whispered something into his ear, which of course Dan didn’t quite catch except for the giggle that escaped Dil when Phil’s secret was being told to him.

So they were going to play it that way, were they?

While the two conspired from afar, Dan surreptitiously grabbed one of the little cylindrical containers filled with glitter and unscrewed the top with his hands behind his back, expression neutral.

“I’m just an innocent unicorn,” Dan spoke easily. “I can prove it to you, Phil. Come here, along with the prince.”

Dil looked up at his teacher as if for confirmation, but Phil shook his head.

“You stay here, Your Royal Highness. I will take care of this beast.”

And with that, the teacher raised his arm up in the air with the sword in hand, ready to charge. Dan snorted towards how ridiculous of a morning this started as, but was entertained none-the-less. At least he knew that Phil was as playful as the children themselves, and that Dil had not been exaggerating one bit if the determined expression on the teacher’s face told him anything.

So he tapped a generous amount of glitter into his hand, hidden from sight, and prepared for the showdown.

“For the Prince!” Phil proclaimed emphatically and was then charging across the room. Dan smirked as the unsuspecting teacher quickly approached him.

The knight had swung the sword with two hands behind him, as if it were a baseball bat, ready to slay the beast and to save the Prince, but he was soon met with a face-full of sparkling dust that seemed to burn and blind him – he was being attacked! Suddenly, the valiant man squeaked in surprise before he slowly sunk to the ground as he grew weak, causing him to drop his sword. He cursed to the beast before him.

“Curse you monstrous brute!” Phil coughed as he clutched at his chest, “I will have my revenge. You’ll rue this day!” With those famous last words, the knight lay still after one last breath.

“Majestic.” Dan deadpanned.

He was about to burst out laughing after he had thrown the flecks of glitter at Phil, which evidently startled him, but then from the corner of one eye he could see Dil charging after him, foam sword held high.

Before he knew it, the creature was being attacked by the small prince. “Take that!”  Prince Dil yelled, sword colliding into the giant’s body repeatedly. The monster cried out and immediately fell to the ground with a groan.

“Noooo…” Dan grasped at the parts of his body where Dil had been hitting him with the sword. A dramatic woe escaped him as he cried for help, trying to hide the smile on his face. Dan sunk to the ground on his stomach and shut his eyes.

 “I am dead.”

He could hear the teacher next to him on the floor – still “dead” – stifling a laugh. “Wow, what a climax,” he whispered.

Dan quietly chortled through his nose, “Shhh…”

“I did it!” Dil stood on his father’s back with a gleeful smile as he basked in his victory. The giant perpetrator had been slain by the fearless Prince. His tiny kingdom was finally safe from unicorn-impersonating giants.

The three of them were so caught up in their little live-action fantasy tale that each of them failed to notice parents and children had started to arrive.

“Um, Mr. Lester?”

The two adult men shot their eyes open to the sound of another voice and quickly scrambled to their feet, Dan feeling quite ridiculous. Phil was brushing off his shirt and knees when Dan nearly lost his balance from standing up so quickly. Who didn’t work out again? Right, it was Dan.

“Hello, sorry. We were just– “ Phil began, but was interrupted by Dil who was now addressing the mother wearing a rather confused expression. “I defeated the monster and saved my kingdom! It’s alright now. Mr. Lester is okay and Daddy’s not a monster unicorn anymore.”

Dan was overcome with the need to pick up his son and swing him around because he was so adorable. He could see the lady’s expression soften into one of fond amusement and nodded as if she understood.

Phil laughed sheepishly, “Yes we were just having a bit of fun. The Prince did end up saving the day. Well done, Dil.”

Dil turned around and looked up at his teacher with twinkling bluey-green eyes and Dan just knew that was the right thing to say.

Dan may have or may not have felt a little warmth run through him right then.

 

After the little situation with the puzzled mother, the classroom started to fill with children. While the two waited around until class officially began, Phil informed Dan that he would need assistance in setting up supplies for the main activity and to prepare the snacks before story time. Dan deemed it easy enough, so he began to set up the tables with craft supplies, which would make it a messy day, Phil had told him.

From time to time, Dan would glance to the front of the room where all the children were sat on top of the round red carpet and stared up at Phil who was sat in the chair in front of them. They were going over the days of the week, Dan observed.

“Well done!” Phil exclaimed happily when the kids recited the weekdays back to him. “Can someone tell me what day it is today?” Little heads looked among themselves, searching to see who would raise their hand first.

A little Asian boy raised his hand timidly.

Phil’s eyes landed on him, “Preston?”

“Is today Monday?”

Phil smiled widely and adjusted his glasses, “Yes, it is! Today is Monday. Thank you, Preston.”

Dan watched as the session progressed, and listened absently when he turned away and started working again. Why was there so much glitter? Christ, the stuff was already everywhere. Phil had attempted to brush off the little flecks after Dan had thrown them at him, but Dan thought he would be sparkling for the better part of the day anyway, for he still was covered in a substantial amount.

When he was finished managing the supplies, Dan wandered to the little group and decided he would sit beside Dil, who looked up at him in surprise.

Before the boy could speak, Dan put a finger to his own lips and whispered for him to listen. Dil nodded, his face plastered with a grin, and Dan decided today was going to be a good day.

 

After Phil finished going in rounds over the numbers of one to five, it was time for the kids to go outside for recess. Today was quite cloudy and chilly as the days grew deeper into the autumn season. The breeze that swept across the gated yard of the school made Dan shiver in his t-shirt. The children were mostly bundled up in their coats, and they paid no mind to the weather.

He was checking his phone for messages when Phil suddenly approached him from behind, startling him.

 “So how do you think Dil likes school so far?”

“Oh, um.” Dan fidgeted and slipped his phone back into his pocket. He was strangely nervous all of a sudden, and he didn’t know why. It was probably because he wanted to make sure he was doing his job correctly especially in front of the teacher.

 “I think he definitely loves it. He goes on and on about you and the class with the biggest smile on his face when we’re going home.” He shrugged and smiled at Phil reassuringly. 

A wide smile spread across Phil’s face and Dan couldn’t feel more pleased. “Really? That’s great! You know, he really is a wonderful boy. He’s very kind and sweet to everyone. The imagination he has is boundless,” Phil enthused calmly, searching Dan’s eyes. He couldn’t help feeling a little vulnerable right now even if he was just praising his son – that was it.

“It really is a fantastic trait…” Phil smiled then switched his gaze to the children jumping around the playground structure.

Dan felt warm all over, and happy. He was definitely happy.

“Thank you. I agree he’s-“ Dan gestured to his son who playing with a few other kids in the sandbox, building something that looked like a castle. “Dil’s amazing.”

Phil turned to him again and shook his head, “No problem. I just wanted to let you know. You and your partner must be doing something right.”

Dan froze at the word “partner”. There was no “partner” there was only Dan. Single father with full custody of his son. There was no Summer.  Just Dan and Dil.

Dan didn’t know how to break the news to Phil, so he just pursed his lips and looked back at Phil with a calculating look, “Um...”

Something in the teacher’s brain immediately clicked as his eyes widened and suddenly he became apprehensive with the way he turned in on himself, clearly embarrassed and a bit guilty.

“Oh, I’m so sorry for that,” Phil said sincerely, blue eyes filled with worry. “I shouldn’t have assumed. I’m deeply sorry, Dan.”

Dan shrugged it off and shook his head, “No it’s okay. I forgive you, don’t worry. She’s not in the picture anymore. Divorce and all,” he sighed. He didn’t really want to talk about it so he dropped his gaze to the floor and scuffed his shoes against the pavement.

He knew Phil understood so he didn’t press into his situation at all after that.

It was quiet for a little while then as they now sat side by side on a little bench in front of the play equipment, keeping an eye on the class. Dan was shivering now and it looked like it was going to rain soon. He rubbed at his arms and kept them crossed against his chest when he wasn’t telling the children to play nicely. Phil kept glancing back at him now and again, Dan could see from the corner of his eye and it was making him blush ever so slightly. He probably had something on his face anyway.

Phil stood up suddenly and spoke, “I’ll be right back. I’m going to go inside and grab something. I’m sure you can manage four eyes for the time being.” Phil laughed as he started his walk towards the building. Dan just smiled, “Okay Mr. Lester!”

“It’s ‘Phil!’” The teacher hollered back. Dan just laughed when he was out of sight.

Dan took the time to check the time on his phone. The children had about ten minutes left to play and to be honest, Dan wanted to recover back inside and bask in the safety of radiated warmth.

He was interrupted while scolding one little Erica Pendleton to stop kicking sand around when something fell over his head and pooled around his body. What was that?

Dan pulled the material off of him and looked down at the blanket in his hand. Oh.

When Phil sat back down next to him he had a sheepish smile on his face, “You were looking a bit cold. I might have had stockpile of blankets in the cupboard,” he shrugged.

“Oh, I-“ Dan was blushing now, he couldn’t deny that, “Thank you.” He really didn’t know what else to say besides looking away as he bit into his cheek to keep a large smile that threatened to surface. 

Teacher, Dan. He’s Dil’s teacher.

After a while, it was time for the kids to come back inside. They herded them into the building and instructed them to put away their coats and hats before being told to take their seats in the long craft tables where they were destined to begin whatever art activity Phil had planned for them to do.

“Okay,” Phil started, taking position in front of the class. “Today we’re going to be decorating the big board right over there.” The teacher pointed to the blank bulletin board across the room and the class turned their heads to take a look.

“Remember those shapes we talked about earlier?” The children collectively nodded and chorused a “yes” before Phil continued. “Today I want you to pick your favorite shape and create it into something that looks like it. For example-“ Phil held up a piece of paper that was shaped into a circle, “this circle could be the moon, or the earth. It could be a football or your face!”

Phil placed the paper in front of his face and looked around the class who erupted in giggles towards their teacher. Dan just smiled along with them.

Phil laughed and set it down, “Does everyone understand the instructions? Raise your hand if you don’t.”

The children looked amongst themselves, and it seemed like everyone understood.

“Alright then, let’s begin! Remember, sharing is polite. Also, if you have trash, you could just throw it in the bin here please.” Phil had set two little bins on the ends of each table. If he hadn’t, the room might as well been a glittery gluey mess.

“If you need help with something, raise your hand. Mr. Howell or I will help you.”

And with that, little hands began to grab for the supplies Dan had prepared and went to work as they chatted with their classmates sat around them.

Dan leaned back against the wall with Phil and the two watched the children work away while they kept an eye on them to make sure they weren’t misusing the materials.

Dan’s eyes fell on Dil who seemed to be working on something at the same time as he was speaking animatedly about something to one little dark-haired girl next to him. He couldn’t make out what it was from the angle he was standing in. Curiosity got the better of him so he wandered over to his son and stood behind him, trying to peer down at what he was creating.

However, Dil noticed the shadow casted onto his work space and he turned around at looked up as an alarmed expression graced his features.

“Daddy, don’t look!” Dil crossed his arms over his little project to shield Dan’s eyes away from it. “Not until I’m done!”

Dan put his hands up in surrender, “Alright alright, I’m sorry.”

He chuckled at the stern expression on his son’s face and made his way back next to Phil, whose attention was kept on the activity itself.

“Dil’s working on something top-secret. I’m not allowed to see it yet,” Dan started as he watched a small boy dump an alarming amount of glitter onto one paper. Oh Jesus, Phil was brave for even considering letting them even use the stuff.

He chanced a look at Phil who was shaking his head, though smiling. “That’s rule number one. You can’t look at something their working on before they’ve finished it.”

Dan snorted, “Oh really? Am I in trouble then?”

Phil shrugged and pursed his lips, “That’s up to Dil. Though, personally you would have been in time-out by now.”

Dan laughed as he imagined himself ordered to sit in a corner of a room by himself. He really wasn’t naughty as a child. At school, he was more reserved and often kept to himself while no one paid any attention to him – and that was fine. Secondary school was entirely something else, though.

“They like to show you things they’ve made when their done,” Phil began. “If someone creates something and you watch it grow with progress from afar, there really is no momentum in the end.”

Dan perked up as he listened to Phil’s words, the turn of the conversation was slightly unexpected.

“It’s like a big sigh of satisfaction, if you know what I mean. They really want that surprise upon first impression.”

Dan nodded slowly, because wow he was not expecting that. But impressed because he understood what that meant. He thought more about it, but stopped himself before he got too deep.

Instead, Dan’s eyes scanned the room and noticed a ginger-haired girl who was sat still with a sad look crossing her features. Concerned, he made his way to her and kneeled down to her level.

“Hello, is everything alright?”

She looked up from her empty table-space and caught his worried gaze before shaking her head. “I’m okay… I just don’t know what to make. Everyone has an idea and I don’t.”

“Well… do you have a favourite shape?”

She shook her head and sighed.

Dan was thoughtful for a short moment before another question formed on the tip of his tongue, “What is your most favourite thing in the whole world?” He asked with a smile. “Something that makes you the happiest.”

This time the little girl pressed a finger to her cheek and thought hard. Dan waited patiently as she did so.

“Food!” she stated enthusiastically. “I really like food.” Dan tried not to laugh, for he could relate so much to her, she had no idea. Instead, a smile spread across his face as he nodded in understanding.

“Food makes me happy too. What’s your favourite?”

Speaking of food, Dan was really starting to get hungry now. He did not eat breakfast aside from one piece of the French Toast he had cooked for Dil earlier that morning. He was able to hold off until snack-time and then straight to lunch after school.

“Pizza! It’s a lovely food. Have you had it?” The idea of pizza seemed to really make her happy which seemed to rub off on him as well. Hungry and happy, alright.

“Yes, I’ve had it before. It is lovely, isn’t it?” Dan laughed, “Maybe you could make your own pizza – here.” He pulled one of the circular stencils from the middle of the table and handed it to her.

“How’s that sound?” Dan turned to face her once more. The girl was smiling widely and was already reaching for a pair of safety-scissors. “Brilliant!” She cried, and he was far too amused.

“That’s a great idea. Thank you, Mr. Howell!”

Dan felt happiness pulse through him then, and accepted the gratitude from the adorable little girl.

“Any time, have fun now!” She nodded in response to him and Dan was back on his feet. He noticed as he was walking back that Phil was smiling at him with kind eyes. Of course he had witnessed the whole exchange. Dan averted his gaze away from him quickly and humbled himself.

When he stood next to the teacher again, he chanced a glance up at Phil and returned the smile. “Well, that’s mainly what I’m here for, isn’t it? Helping and stuff…”

Phil just laughed. “Of course. Well done, Dan.”

Dan didn’t know why that made him feel incredibly pleased with himself, but it did.

The activity stretched to about an hour in time as the little ones worked on. Dan and Phil paced around the room and helped the class together whenever a hand was raised. Phil had put on some music while the children finished up with their little creations as Dan assisted with transporting the sticky – and rather colourful – shapes onto a separate table that was deemed “complete”.

Cheese and crackers were brought out once the crafts were put away and the tables were cleaned up (except glitter was everywhere, oh my God Phil). Dan and Phil sat amongst themselves while they ate some of their own snacks Phil had stored in his office – he really didn’t want to have cubes of cheddar like some of the kids were having.

“Wait you don’t like _cheese_?” Dan had asked, disbelief written all over his face. “How do you not like cheese?”

Phil took a sip from his thermos filled with coffee before snorting at Dan’s expression. Seriously, how can someone not like cheese? Everything greasy and horrible and delicious had some form of it. What about pizza? And everything with cheese? Oh dear.

Dan scooped up some yoghurt Phil had given him and shook his head.

“I just don’t! It’s really horrible,” Phil shrugged. “My mum would make me eat it as a child and-“ he shivered and his face shriveled in disgust,”-ugh I hated it.” 

“What about pizza?” Dan asked in a challenging tone, “Do you really not eat pizza?”

“No, I like pizza. Pizza’s fine.” Phil stated.

Dan’s eyebrows pulled together before he threw his arms up, he hadn’t meant to become so overly astonished over the topic, but it left him both amused and curious. Phil began to laugh at Dan’s frustration.

“What? No! How do you figure? Pizza has cheese.” Dan pressed, putting his hands flat on the table. “That makes _no_ sense.”

Phil rolled his eyes playfully. “It tastes different on a pizza!”

Dan sighed, and quirked a smile at the teacher before finishing up his food – which really had done nothing to keep his stomach at bay until it was lunchtime and time to go home. Perhaps he and Dil could go out to lunch somewhere, it would be a nice treat for the both of them.

Dan could hear his phone’s text tone notify him with a message, but he soon forgot all about it when Phil cleaned up then called the class over to the carpet for story time. He would check it later.

Also, Phil had chosen to read _Winnie-the-Pooh_. Dan didn’t want to miss it.

He trailed behind the class and went to grab a seat from one of tables, however, before he could do just that, Phil was at his side looking a little shy with the book in one hand.

Blue eyes were hopeful when he spoke. “Dan, can you maybe voice some of the characters and read along with me? The kids love it when I do it but-“ he cleared his throat, “-I don’t know. I just thought it would make this story a little more interesting. You know, since there are so many.”

Phil bit his lip nervously, and oh god, if Dan didn’t look away from those eyes he’d be lost to the world. He giggled – he actually giggled – what was he? A twenty-five year old father or a teenage schoolgirl? Right, he just found Phil’s awkwardness a little funny that was all.

“Um,” Dan pursed his lips as he held back a smile. “Yeah. Sure, I’ll do it.”

Phil’s face lit up and a part Dan’s soul might have died at the sight. “Great! Thank you, Dan.”

Dan just managed a nod before he was following Phil towards the group of kids that were obviously tuned in to their conversation. The teacher pulled one of the chairs and set it beside his own and beckoned for Dan to sit down.

“Alright everybody. Mr. Howell is going to be Pooh Bear today! Because for this story time, we’re going to read _Winnie-the-Pooh_.”

The class perked up at the mention of the famous bear as they expressed their delight in quiet murmurs. Dan’s eyes searched around the little faces before him and spotted Dil, whose smile was brighter than anyone else’s. Dan beamed back at him before he turned back to Phil and began the story.

Once in a while a fit of little giggles would sound while the two men read Winnie-the-Pooh to a classroom of four-year-old while Dan and Phil stumbled through the story, trying not to laugh too much towards Dan’s impression of Pooh.

As time wound on, the kids increasingly fell into a bout of sleepiness, with little heads rested on their hands on propped-up elbows, smiling and eyes drooping.

By the end of the day, Dan was incredibly glad for signing up as a teacher’s help. Because honestly, he could do it all day, Phil had shown him how much fun and invigorating it all was just being around bright little spirits all morning. It made him happy while still feeling useful.

Dan really hoped Phil would call him in more after today.

 

It was time for everyone to go home now. Both Dan and Phil were saying goodbye to the last of the kids when the little girl – Dan discovered her name was Susan – went up to him with a large smile on her face.

“Thanks again, Mr. Howell!” She beamed up at him.

Dan chuckled, feeling happiness spread through him. “You’re welcome, Susan. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

She nodded her head enthusiastically before waving goodbye and ran off to her father who was stood from afar waiting for her.

After the class was gone, Dan turned to Phil thoughtfully. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to leave as well or if she should stay. Really, Dan wasn’t in any hurry even if he was hungry and intended to go out for food shortly after, but he was willing to wait. Dil didn’t look very tired In contrast to the rest of his classmates, instead he was wandering around the yard, hopping on the roots of the trees around them.

Phil turned to him then.

“Thank you so much for helping me today, Dan.” The teacher said earnestly, a small smile on his face.

“I really appreciate it. You did a great job.”

Dan shook his head and averted his gaze to the floor with his own little smile. “It was no problem. It was a lot of fun actually. I had a good time.” he admitted shyly. Right, he was a father. A grown man. Daniel Howell was not a teenager going on his first date. Stop it, Daniel.

“You handled the kids extremely well – and yeah it was loads of fun. Um,” Phil paused and bit his lip, contemplative for a moment.

“If it’s not too much trouble, would you mind coming in and helping several days of the week? It’s totally fine if you can’t.” Phil casted his glance away and took interest in the passing cars in front of them. Dan thought that Phil probably thought he was being pushy – he was far from thinking just that.

Dan almost blurted out how he obviously would love to help often, but he didn’t want to seem overly-eager, so he smiled pleasantly and nodded several times.

“I’d really love to. Just let me know.” Dan grinned while he went to lean on the open door, intending to appear relaxed and collected, however, he almost yelped in surprise when it was pushed away from his weight. He caught himself quickly before falling on his ass. Jesus Christ.

Phil didn’t seem to notice Dan’s pathetic attempt to acting casual when he looked back at the younger man and smiled. “Great!”

“And of course, I will just call you or text you if that’s alright?”

“Yep, that’s fine.”

“Cool.”

“Alright.”

Silence fell between the two, and to be honest, Dan was starting to feel a little awkward. His eyes didn’t dare to meet Phil’s as so many thoughts began to run about through his head about the day – about the class – about Phil.

It wasn’t anything, really. Phil was just a really great and exceptional teacher, there wasn’t anything to think about.

He really looked forward to working more in the classroom. Dan was pretty sure that any anxiety he had felt previously was completely gone now. He mentally noted to talk to Louise about it later, she probably was going to call him either way. The next time Dan would see her, the blonde was probably going to pat him on the back with a ‘now that wasn’t so hard, was it?’ after something so unintimidating as working in a Nursery classroom.

“So erm, I’ll see you – you know, whenever.” Dan stammered slightly, not knowing what to do with himself. Instead he made his way to collect his son.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll see you later. I’m starving, I’m probably gonna go buy some lunch after I lock everything up,” Phil replied casually, pulling a lanyard of keys out of his pocket.

Dan agreed with him. “We’re probably going to go out for lunch as well…” he stated, though his sentence trailed off. There was definitely an unspoken invitation there, and both of them knew it.

Should Dan really? Invite him to lunch with his son? Was he going to do it? Oh God, he was. Wasn’t he? Except no, that would be a little strange, wouldn’t it? Yeah, definitely.

Dan stopped the train in his mind and blurted his words out before he could make up his mind,

“Do you want to join us?”  

“Pizza?”

“Pizza has cheese, Phil.”

“It tastes different on a pizza, Dan.”

“Okay.”

“Awesome.”

They stared into one another for a short moment as little smiles started to form at the corners of their lips. Phil’s eyes held a certain humour – a glint. Dan wasn’t sure if he looked the same just now, but it didn’t matter. He was hungry, and he had to feed his kid. Why not bring his teacher along? Right, it didn’t hurt, he was just being courteous.

Except the idea made something inside him flip a little.

 


	3. three.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: swearing, mistreatment

The pizza-lunch-whatever-it-was turned out to be a really good idea, in Dan’s opinion. Dan feared the situation would seep into awkward territory – but he was glad he had been wrong. Conversation ran smoothly and light-hearted, Phil was his usual calm and collected self. Dil was extremely happy to spend time with his teacher outside of the school setting. Dan might not have been thinking the same thing. The three of them easily fell into friendly banter, and it was nice. Phil was nice.

Before they turned to bid the teacher goodbye, Phil told him he’d love for Dan to come in and help in the classroom for the next day. Dan didn’t object.

The day progressed normally into Dan and Dil’s usual routine of relaxing at home for a short while until it was time for Dan to drop Dil off at Louise’s house before he was off to work.

Dan found that after the eventful day spent with Phil and Dil, his night at the radio station was slow in comparison.

Dan couldn’t wait to pick up his son and fall into bed and sleep. After the day’s activities, he was left exhausted in the best ways. He genuinely felt happy and content with his life for at the moment. The absence of worry and anxiety were close to nonexistent these days, and for that he was grateful.

Once the last chapter of _The First Unicorn_ was read to Dil, who was now fast asleep in his room, Dan trudged tiredly into his own and flopped on top of the duvet. He nearly was about to fall asleep until the discomfort of his day clothes settled against him and he decided to change hastily by throwing them across the floor. Which, turned out to be a bad idea because the sound of a hard ‘thunk’ sounded from the ground when he shucked off his jeans.

Wincing, he quickly retrieved his trousers and rummaged through the pockets before pulling out his phone, which was thankfully still intact.

He yawned and fell back into bed, phone still in hand. He remembered that he hadn’t checked his phone for hours – he didn’t think he looked at it once today apart from that morning. For good measure, he pressed the home button and squinted at the too-bright touch-screen until he was able to read that he had a missed call and two unread text messages.

The cell number displayed on the notification immediately caused the grip on his phone to tighten. Of course she fucking would. She wasn’t going to let down that easy, Dan should have known better than to think she would leave them alone.

Dan was seriously considering just ignoring them completely and deleting them, and he tried. He really did. Throwing the phone on the other side of the bed did nothing but settle him into wandering thoughts and underlying anger.

He sighed loudly and tugged the phone back to himself and unlocked it. There were two little notifications hovering above his ‘messages’ and with a tense exhale of frustration, he opened it up and tapped to the number he was unfortunately too familiar with and read the text:

 _It’s polite to call back, you know._ It read.

Dan rolled his eyes absently and continued:

_But anyway, just wanted to let you know that I’ll be visiting soon to see MY son, dan. You can’t keep him from me – I don’t care if you have full custody. I’m seeing Dil. Call me back and we won’t have to make things harder than it has to be. Proves what a father and person you are huh? See you soon._

_xo summer_

Anger was growing inside his bones -- Dan could feel it running along every muscle of his body. It threatened to surface, but he wasn’t going to let it get the best of him – he just had to pretend it didn’t bother him. Because that’s what he always did, right? Right. Dan was able to control it. Expressing anger and all negative emotions was useless to Dan. It didn’t help anyone, it just made everyone and himself feel worse. It just made it all the more real if the feelings he felt were displayed in front of him and towards the people around him.

That’s how Dan worked, and he thought it was keeping himself at bay.

He laid there as his thoughts scattered around his mind, and decided he was no longer tired, but deeply frustrated and somewhere in his being lurked hatred. Sleep was on his mind, but he didn’t think that he’d be getting the rest he was looking forward to all evening, so he willed himself to relax in silence.

What was she going to do about anything, really? She couldn’t just invite herself into his life that easily – in fact she was probably just trying to make herself seem like it was something to worry about for him. That’s what she was doing to him, riling him up so that eventually he would snap.

For a second he pondered the idea of replying, but with all the emotions swaying around and inside him, it was probably a bad idea. He just wanted to sleep.

He lifted the phone from his chest and tapped back into his list of messages and remembered there were two unread texts. One from Summer and another from one dorky nursery school teacher. A smile wormed his way through the scowl on his face when he opened the message.

_hi dan! thanks for inviting me for lunch today with you and dil. I still have the taste of blue cheese dip in my mouth after you put it on my pizza! it was so disgusting! I hope I dont die because of the mold – well I guess youll find out if im not at school tomorrow-_

Dan snorted in amusement towards Phil’s little tangent and exaggeration.

_-but anyway, i just wanted to remind you that I’ll need help in the class tomorrow. see you then!_

Dan read over Phil’s text a couple of times before he turned off his phone and set it on the nightstand. Right, he had to get some sleep so he could help out in the morning. With Phil.

Dan was really glad that Phil deemed him worthy of coming back, he really was. Plus, he liked Phil – of course not in _that_ way, according to him. However, the teacher brought him a feeling of easiness, and the atmosphere around him when he was at the school put him in good spirits.

Okay, so maybe Dan did think Phil was a really nice person – he might have liked him a little bit, but that was all, he’d only known the man for a week. Phil was just… really lovely.

Sleep. Right. He had to go to sleep.

He closed his eyes and tried not to think too much.

 

 

The following morning began when Dil decided to jump on him with the intent of waking Dan up, but his father just groaned and buried his face into the pillow. Last night didn’t treat him too well, thanks to his thoughts.

“Daddy!” Dil exclaimed as he grabbed at the duvet, attempting to pull it off of a tired Dan. The sleepy lump just pulled it closer to him against his son’s attempts.

 “Come on! It’s not winter yet. Bears don’t hibernate until the winter!”

“Yeah? Well this bear does…” He replied groggily as he reluctantly sat up and started the day.

 

The morning ran slowly.

Dan decided he would need three cups of coffee before he would be able to function throughout the next few hours until he would be crashing back down to sleepy town. He tossed and turned all night until he fell asleep due to exhaustion close to four in the morning. The thought of his ex and her texts rushed back to him once he was fully awake and caffeinated – though it had weighed him down once he remembered.

Once Dan and Dil arrived to the school, they were greeted with one cheerful teacher. Dan smiled and bid him good morning, although feeling slightly run down, but he managed nicely.

The children arrived some time later and soon Phil was teaching in front of the room while Dan prepared the activities the class was set on completing for the day. Idly, he watched Phil speak animatedly from afar with a small smile on his face. The teacher was waving his hands around and demonstrating something for the class, Dan didn’t know what, but he found it slightly endearing. When Phil caught his gaze, Dan looked away and ignored the blush on his cheeks.

The vibration of his phone caught his attention and he swiftly turned it on as his eyes wandered over the unfamiliar number displayed on the screen. The person was not calling, however, but it had been a text message.

He opened it up:

_Hey Dan, it’s Eliza._

Oh for God’s sake.

_Summer has told me what you’re doing to her, and I am honestly so appalled. How could you be so disrespectful to the mother of your child? All she wants is to see her son, don’t act like he is all yours because he isn’t. I’m so disappointed. You’ll hear from me again soon._

A thin line was spread across his lips as a frown found its way to Dan’s forehead. He didn’t need this right now. Eliza didn’t know anything about him, his ex, and the situation at hand – she was simply Summer’s best friend – needless to say she was given information from one manipulative and terrible person. Again, Dan did not know how Eliza acquired his cell phone number – presumably it was Summer, in fact, this was probably her idea – Dan didn’t want to care to listen.

Frustration was tugging at him from the inside and he heaved out a sigh.

_hi eliza. i’m sorry but the situation  between summer and i is none of your business and i would appreciate that you leave me alone. thanks._

He scanned over the message once before he hit send, uncaring if he sounded rude or blunt, that was exactly what he needed to get her off his back.

Dan and Eliza didn’t get along very well while he was still married to Summer. The two often met each other on uneven levels as their conversation was void of any sincerity and friendliness. The stoic and careful small talk they’d fall into at occasions were stiff and awkward. Sure, they were able to tolerate each other, but that was the extent of their nonexistent relationship. Over time, Dan discovered how creepy she was toward him when she visited. On odd days, Eliza would show up unannounced at his doorstep and wouldn’t leave. She prolonged her stay and treated his home as if it were own. On some strange occasions he found himself in his room as he caught the woman rummaging through his belongings in the drawers and closet. More than once, he had caught her doing it. It was safe to say that Dan steered clear of her and hid his things while she visited his ex.

Dan crossed his arms with his phone in hand as he continued to watch as Phil made a strange impression of an eagle, causing the children to laugh and do the same. He quirked a small smile at that regardless of how adorable ridiculous it looked.

His phone buzzed again and he frowned. Eliza had replied.

_I will not. This is my business if it involves my best friend. I will not let you take away her own child. You’re sick, Howell. You. Are. Sick._

Dan’s jaw tightened as he read over the last few words. His frustration and annoyance was quickly growing into anger.

_what nerve you have, saying this crap to me. you know nothing about my life and in no way are you a part of it. leave me the hell alone please._

_You damn well know what I’m talking about. Summer told me everything, I was with her the whole time you whisked her son away and divorced her. You are abusive and manipulative – I know things, Dan. Dil should have gone to Summer. It disgusts me that I even have to remind you._

Dan glared at his phone when he read that message. Of fucking course Summer framed him as the villain – of course she did. He wasn’t surprised that she was able to manipulate her friend just as she did him, and he knew they were lies, but it still hurt and made him angry nonetheless. Dan had it with her ignorance. Fuming, he began to respond back angrily:

_you know what? fuc_

“Dan? It’s time for recess. Would you like to step outside with us? I think today the children want to play kickball.”

Dan was suddenly interrupted by Phil who regarded him with a friendly smile that reached his eyes. He noticed the class had already filed outside to play, and he had wasted an hour trapped in his thoughts and conversation with Eliza. Dan forced a smile back.

“Um,” he sighed and shifted his gaze to the window where he could spot some kids running around and laughing from afar. Dan really didn’t feel up to it.

“Sorry, but no. I can’t.”

Phil’s smile faltered for a second as the teacher removed his gaze from Dan.

“Oh, that’s alright. No worries, erm.”

Dan really didn’t want to see that look on Phil’s face again, or hear the slight disappointment in his tone.

“I couldn’t help but notice but, uh. Are you alright? You were frowning down at your phone for a little while there – you can just tell me to bug off if I’m being-“

“No, no.” Dan said quickly, shaking his head. “I’m okay. I’m just… tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I’m fine.” He knew the tight-lipped smile on his face was not convincing in the least, however, Phil just nodded sympathetically with kind eyes.

“I understand. Would you like some coffee?”

And with that tiny optimistic smile from Phil, Dan let go of some of the anger brewing inside him.

 

Of course, the few moments of peace were short-lived when Summer and Eliza began to text him simultaneously throughout the day. Dan was completely distracted and on-edge. His grip was too tight, his smile too big, and his voice too strained. It was driving him mad.

As kids raised their hands for help, Dan had not been paying attention as Phil tended to the class on his own while Dan periodically checked down at his phone and sat around absently with his heated thoughts.

_Summer: wow, Dan. you haven’t called. I can’t believe you. I just want to see my son. I thought you were a better person than this._

_Eliza: You are a terrible father to keep your son away from his mother._

_Summer: You’re upsetting Eliza too, how many people are you able to upset? I really am in shock. What happened to you?_

_Summer: Dil must be in hell._

_Eliza: You must be a terrible father to your son if you’re depriving him of a relationship with **his** mother. _

Dan wanted to shout aloud against every word they said to him – to scream that they were wrong, but the anger that filled him made him to believe that he had to suppress himself. He was beyond angry. Still, he sat silently fuming as his surroundings turned into a complete blur. He really should just shut off his phone when his hands started to shake and every little laugh and scream of one of the children made him tense up.

They were wrong. Weren’t they? Dan wasn’t a bad father. Was he? He wasn’t.  
Right?

Questions flooded his mind as the texts began to fill up a majority of his phone’s capacity. The vibrations didn’t seem to stop.

When snack time rolled around, he simply stepped outside and didn’t take notice of the worried look from the teacher as he walked out.

He didn’t feel hungry at all. The anxiety and fury settled in his stomach like a brick, and his mind whirled with questions and doubts. It was as if he were married to Summer again.

 

About fifteen minutes later, Phil approached Dan who was sitting at the wooden tables, a frown gracing his features.

“Hi um. Are you sure you’re alright?” He asked carefully.

Dan slowly turned to the older man and shook his head and replied as if he were truly bothered by the question. “I’m fine. I already told you.”

Phil bit his lip and thought for a moment, searching Dan’s face with a doubtful expression.

“Okay. Are you going to join us for story time? The class seemed to love the performance we put on yester-“

“No.” Dan interrupted bluntly, uncaring and unaware if he seemed rude. He didn’t want to do anything right now. Sleep could do him some good. And a drink.

Phil stood silent for a moment, taken aback by the younger’s tone and sighed in defeat.

“Alright then…”

Dan watched from the corner of his eye as the teacher walked back inside the classroom and finished the last activity with the class without him. A certain feeling of shame had begun to settle inside him along with the day’s previous emotions. Dan put his head in his hands and breathed out a heavy sigh.

He definitely needed a drink.

 

 


	4. four.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: alcohol use

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I'd like to apologize for the many delays. I really am! But I hope you enjoy this chapter.

“I’m just going to guess that you brought me here on a Wednesday night because you have something to spill, right? Not that I’m complaining,” PJ shrugged with a crooked smile as he tipped the beer bottle to his lips. “Anyway, what’s on your mind?”

It was far too late to be sat in a bar on a weekday.

Dan and his companion radio host, PJ, were settled in a seedy little bar located down the street of the radio station. The night was chilly with the autumn wind and sinking cold the season brought. The two had walked down the road with their hands in their pockets as PJ casted curious glances to his friend – Dan pretended he didn’t notice. The idea was completely out-of-the-blue, even for Dan.

A few people were scattered around the small bar, sat a couple stools down from them sipping at their drink as their faces grew heavy with alcohol and sleep. The poor lighting seemed to make the environment weary like Dan had felt now. 

Dan decided that he really did need a drink after the last week he had endured. The stress and mix of emotions had been weighing him down since last Sunday night and he hadn’t really talked to anyone about it. He needed someone to listen – and with the shit he was about to talk about required a few drinks.

Dan spun his glass around and sighed.

“It’s Summer,” he glanced at PJ who raised his eyebrows in surprise. Dan looked back down and continued.

“She’s been _insistent_ on visiting us – more so Dil. Just all of a sudden she _somehow_ managed to obtain my number and attempted to call me. It’s been weeks now and the calls and text messages have been endless. That woman has some nerve to try and inch her way in back into our lives like nothing wrong ever happened and it pisses me off so much, I swear.”

He paused to take a swig of the amber liquid before he set down the glass harshly with a thud, making PJ wince.

“Now she’s got Eliza – her brainwashed creep of a friend – berating me as well. Are they actually serious? They’ve gone through so much trouble against me. It’s like they’re treating the situation as if we’re in secondary school and they’re cyberbullying me, it’s ridiculous!”

Dan downed the rest of his drink and ordered a new one while PJ processed the new information. 

PJ was one of Dan’s closest friends aside from Louise – and he didn’t have many. Their friendship began when Dan started to work at the radio station as a broadcast assistant. PJ had already been a radio host at the time, but despite their differing jobs, they often bumped into each other.

When Dan accidentally switched their journalist’s stories and presented his superior with Dil’s drawings, Dan had watched – and listened – in horror as PJ turned his mistake around and provided a detailed description of the images, complete with a review. The entire time, Dan was trying not to have a panic attack in fear of losing his job or something extreme as that, but to his surprise, PJ and the producers laughed it off and told him it had been fine.

From that point on, they tended to cause havoc in the studio. The two were slightly surprised that they still even had their jobs after fucking up a song or something on their soundboard, but still they remained in good terms with their superiors. As some time went on, Dan had eventually wormed his way into the position he has now, and he couldn’t be happier with his job.

Dan ordered his next drink and decided that he wasn’t going to aim to be pissed, he had just wanted to wind down a little. Besides, he had Dil as well as the school to worry about for the next day.

PJ sighed and rested his head on his palm, contemplative for a moment.

“I’m going to guess that you tried ignoring, but they still won’t stop?”

“Yes, I have. And they’re driving me crazy. I-“ he shook his head and stared down into the bottom of his glass, thinking.

“The things they’re saying to me… I just. They’re telling me I’m the wrong one in this situation by depriving the mother of a relationship with her son. That I’m a bad parent and things of the sort.”

PJ’s face warped into one of incredulity and he huffed in disbelief.

“That’s such bullshit. Obviously they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. That woman doesn’t deserve to just jump into a life she failed to take part in. She must be dreaming if she thinks she could pull something like that after everything she caused. She’s crazy, that woman.” His hands made a motion as if he were waving the information off while Dan hummed in agreement.

“I’ve seen you and Dil.” Pj began with a reassuring smile and patted his friend on the back. “Hell, I k _now_ you and DIl. You’re a great father to him, Dan. It’s extremely clear that when your little boy so much as smiles at you, everyone knows that he really loves you. He’s the happiest kid I’ve ever seen.” He paused to take a drink while Dan listened doubtfully.

“To hell with what those two crazy bitches say. You don’t actually believe them, right? I mean come on.”

Dan downed his drink in one go.

Sure, the hurtful comments and accusations had unfazed Dan when the whole dispute began, however, with the amount of time Dan had spent thinking about his actions and lack thereof, he couldn’t help but believe there was some truth behind their words. Even while he lived his life without Summer, Dan truly feared that he would be an unsuccessful parent for Dil.

Once the custody battle had settled and Dan had won, he had fought another internal battle within himself. He was afraid that he wouldn’t be the best father, scared that Dil would grow up to resent him for giving him a shitty life. Terrified that his son would grow up with troubles because of him – Dan had that fear still within him, though dormant, the words brought it back to life.

PJ’s eyebrows knitted in concern and he placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Right?”

Dan toyed with the glass, rolling it around in his hands idly. The doors shut as the last few customers filed out, causing the September chill to draft into the small bar, making him shiver. The bartenders were cleaning up as rags were thrown into a bin after wiping down the surfaces, and the TV that hummed low in the dim-lit room was turned off.

“Right.” Dan confirmed, a false smile on his face.

The bar was closing. It was time go home.  

 

When Dan picked up Dil, close to one in the morning, the little boy had already been asleep. Dan was relieved that the car ride home didn’t stir him awake as well as when he carried him up to his bedroom. Dil was sleeping deeply with the way his little chest rose and fell after he was tucked into bed. Dan, who could have used some sleep right then, smiled down tiredly at his son before he trudged to his room and flopped down onto the bed.

Though, this time, he didn’t bother checking his phone. With the exhaustion he was feeling, and the slow blink of his eyes, falling into sleep was hardly a problem.

 

The next day at Dil’s school had Dan feeling terribly awkward and stiff with his performance to work in accordance of his interactions with the class. Most of all, the uncomfortable tension between he and Phil had him awkwardly treading around the teacher.

Every day since the last week started, the two hadn’t talked exclusively with each other during the kids’ play time, or in between the craft activities. During snack time, conversation was held for hardly a minute before it was dropped and the two were sat in uncomfortable silence. Dan could feel the slight tension, and he thought Phil could feel it too.

Dan definitely felt like an ass.

He brushed the teacher off when he was only trying to help, and he had strayed away from him when his stress was piled high and his agitation surfaced at his skin. Dan felt really shitty and now Phil had given up at any attempts to talk to him. Though, he wasn’t the only one caught in Dan’s line of fire.

Dan had snapped at Dil a few times as the days progressed. The boy had done nothing wrong, but Dan had scolded him to settle down whenever his son wandered into his presence. Dil had just wanted him to listen to his story, or tell him about his friend Tabitha, or ramble animatedly about the information on lions he had learned on the television. But Dan only half-listened most of the time, and told him to play in the other room when he received another phone call.

Dan sat quietly as the class was now eating their snacks, and he had been thinking far too much. His eyes scoped around the room aimlessly until he chanced a glance at Phil who was sat next to him, drinking coffee and scrolling through his phone.

Dan hated this. He wanted to talk to him.

They had started off so well and now Dan had fucked it all up by being a moody asshole. Phil probably thought he hated him and his role as a class-help would possibly be taken away in the next week if Dan didn’t do something.

He _really_ didn’t want that.

Dan sucked in a breath and let it out silently before speaking.

“So…” He began awkwardly as he scratched the back of his head. Jesus, he didn’t even know what to say. A conversation could have started there, and it would have been easy, but Dan’s mind was absolutely blank. Now he was just sat as he stared into Phil’s stupidly pretty blue eyes without a word to say.

A beat.

“So…?” Phil recited uncertainly, trailing off. The teacher’s face fell into a mix of curiosity and confusion and Dan was mentally cringing towards himself for making the atmosphere so uncomfortable. 

“How are you?”

Dan wanted to smack himself. He shouldn’t have said anything. What was this? Cubicles and watercoolers?

Phil regarded him with a narrow look and took a sip from his travel mug. He didn’t break his gaze until he set it back down.

Another beat.

“I’m fine, how are you?”

Dan groaned internally. Human interaction was not his forte.

“I’m okay…”

“That’s good.”

“Yep.”

They stared at each other for a short moment as they held their gazes. A stretch of silence fell between their short-lived (and shitty) attempt at small-talk. The air around them seeped awkwardness and wow, Dan should really say something else. 

He should apologize. Dan should definitely apologize. That’s what he was going to talk about in the first place, right? Exactly.

Though, what if Phil was angry with him? Of course, Dan knew the teacher had every right to hold something against him. He was rude, and he had avoided him when Phil had not done anything wrong. The man was simply doing his job, and Dan was there for a reason – he had no excuse for the way he had been acting.

The interaction and effort he put into the class and his obligation to fulfil at the little nursery school had been minimal. What if Phil told him he was going to replace him with another parent? Was he going to say that he wanted nothing to do with him? In Dan’s opinion, he wouldn’t want someone like himself spoiling a place that is known to be lively.

 _Phil is angry,_ Dan had thought. _He doesn’t like you. You have ruined it, and it hasn’t even been a full three weeks. Here you are, moping around being this toxic piece of garbage that has let a potential friend down._

What if his ex-wife was right?

Dan heaved a large sigh and opened his mouth to speak.

“I’m sorry.”

The words peaked Phil’s interest as he sat up straighter and angled his body towards Dan as if were providing him with his full attention, which he did exactly that.

So they were going to talk.

“What are you sorry for?”

_For being an ass._

_“_ For my behaviour last week. I was terribly unprofessional.” The statement sounded as if Phil was his actual boss, but Dan carried on.

“I know I signed up to help you, but I brushed you off and I was rude to you. I really am sorry. I just have so many things going on in my life right now – and I know that’s not an excuse for how I acted – and I understand if you want to replace me. Trust me, I really like being here despite my recent attitude. I’m probably not the greatest a-anyway, oh god, I’m so sorry. If you-“

Dan wasn’t conscious of his rambling, but the fear of his little ‘job’ being taken away from him unleashed the reality of what a disappointment he probably was began to chase him. His speech was accelerating, and the words and thoughts he had been holding within himself all week were starting to surface and jumble into an unintelligible mess. It was probably a good thing that Phil quieted him down with a gentle hand to his shoulder.

The pale hand was warm against Dan’s shaking form. He willed himself to relax.

“Hey,” Phil started softly.

Dan looked up slowly and Phil was close – and wow, he hadn’t realized the little golden-yellow flecks in those kind eyes.

“It’s alright, Dan. I understand, and no I’m not going to replace you. I sort of thought you were going to quit on your own and I’m glad that’s not the case. Thank you for the apology though. If you ever need to talk or something, know that I have an open ear.”

All Dan felt in that moment was pure relief, if the way the tension strung through his body loosened up at that moment told him anything. Aside from that, he also felt a great deal of gratitude for Phil’s kind sentiment. Perhaps the teacher didn’t hate him so much after all.

Dan searched Phil’s eyes before a smile found its way to each of their faces. Dan hadn’t seen him like that for a week and he had sort of missed it. He wasn’t going to tell Phil that though.

“Thank you. Really, it won’t happen again.” And Dan meant it, he had to remind himself to push away his personal troubles when it came to any type of work and other people – evidently he had learned the hard way.

Phil shook his head as he set his coffee cup down. “No worries. It happens, I know. Are we okay?”

Dan nodded, he could feel the week’s stress melt away from him like a cleanse through his body.

“Yeah, we’re okay.”

“Good.”

Phil winked at him reassuringly before he got up to clean the table space around him. As he strode away, Dan’s eyes trailed after him as he tried not to notice the slight sway to the man’s hips, though he was entirely aware of the extra skip to his step.

Dan looked away quickly and stared down at his intertwined hands.

As always, he ignored the slight blush that crept its way up his neck.

When Dan heard the chair next to him squeak across the floor, he didn’t look up, for he already knew the teacher had returned.

“Dan.”

This time, Dan broke his focus from his hands and gazed up at Phil whose eyes held the usual friendliness that Dan hadn’t seen in a week.

Phil smiled. “Do you want to finish reading Winnie-the-Pooh?”

Dan couldn’t believe that one silly little question was able to release this newfound happiness that coursed through his body. His stomach fluttered and suddenly everything was alright in the world.

“Yeah, of course.”

 

\--

 

The rest of the day swung by with smooth succession, and before Dan knew it, it was time for everyone to go home. As Phil guided the children outside, Dan was met with the bite of the autumn air, cool and crisp. The two men stood around shivering as they helped the class to their parents until the last child was sent home.

Dan took Dil’s hand just as they were about to leave.

“Bye, Phil. I’ll see you later?”

Of course, he was asking if he should stop by tomorrow as well, but Dan was quite sure they both knew the answer to that question.

Phil shot him a wide grin while he fumbled with the jingling keys in his hand, “Oh, yeah. Of course. I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

Dan smiled back warmly, despite the slight shudder to his body due to the cold. He was immensely glad that he had resolved the tension that strangled their young friendship, and tomorrow would be a new day – free of the guilt and worry of his mistake.

The father and son waved icy-cold hands to the teacher and scurried off to their car to escape the chilly weather.

 

\--

 

 

The next day was met with a storm.

The rain had been pouring since the early morning, and the sky was dark with grey clouds that loomed over the city. Wind caught the chilly air, bringing goose-flesh to those without a jumper or coat to guard them against the cold.

Inside the small classroom, children had their attention turned to the blurry windows where drops of rain ran down the glass in clumps. Their faces held disappointment when their teacher had told them they couldn’t play outside that day. So they had to make do with the classroom, which was a playground in itself, so it wasn’t all bad.

Dan was sat cross-legged on the carpet with his back against the wall as he kept an eye on the children to ensure everyone was getting along. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Phil making his way toward him in a sluggish walk while he dragged his feet across the floor. The teacher yawned before he stopped in front of Dan with a sleepy smile.

“Hey,” Dan greeted as he returned the expression. “You look awfully tired. Did you get any sleep at all? It looks like you could fall asleep standing up.” He laughed quietly in amusement, finding that the sleepy teacher was perhaps a little bit endearing. Dan thought himself absolutely ridiculous – he had to stop.

Phil stretched his arms high above his head causing his shirt to ride up a little. Dan looked away quickly.

“Hello, and yeah.” He sighed and rubbed his eyes, “I didn’t sleep too well. Also, weather like this makes me want to cuddle up in a blanket and watch a movie or something.”

The image of him and Phil sat on a couch together with a blanket shared between them flashed across Dan’s mind, but he stuffed it down. It did sound nice, and Dan couldn’t remember the last time he had done something like that with someone.

Though, the idea did stir up a question he hadn’t really thought of before.

Was Phil married? Did _he_ have someone at home to go home to? Did _he_ have any kids?

The man probably did, and that thought pulled something inside Dan. It felt dangerously close to disappointment, because why should he feel sad about that if it were true?

Dan simply hummed in response and tried not to analyze those feelings too much.

“Anyway, I promised some of the kids I’d teach them how to play Candyland. Keep an eye on the other children for me?”

“Yeah sure,” Dan chirped. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure a riot won’t break out.”

Dan could hear Phil’s laughter as he walked away.

His eyes scanned the room, intrigued by the way some of the kids played. Dan scolded some when they were misusing the playthings by throwing or bashing them in some way, but a fight never surfaced, and he supposed Phil had a lot to do with it from teaching his class good manners – which he witnessed every day.

Judging by the toys and blocks and whatnot littered about the room, he instantly knew he would be the one cleaning it up. One kid was good enough for him, thank you.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and immediately he knew it was a text message.

Dan had gotten used to his phone constantly buzzing and ringing, which was quite sad actually. But at least he was feeling better about his problematic ex and her friend by not reading anything they had sent him.

For once, he was positively surprised to see a notification on his screen.

It was PJ, and he was simply texting him to talk about their show for tonight. For a while they discussed workplace talk while Dan periodically kept his attention on the class as his phone buzzed in his hand.

**PJ:** _Anyway, what are you up to?_

 **Dan:** _snorting crack off a hobo ofc, how bout you?_

 **PJ:** _Classy._

 

Dan snorted and rolled his eyes.

**PJ:** _I’m sat at home working on my youtube video. I’ve been editing since yesterday and it’s taking forever._

 **Dan:** _well i’m glad that i could assist you with your procrastination. i’m actually at dil’s school helping out the teacher. you know, performing classroom duties for 3 and 4 year olds._

 **PJ:** _Ah, so is that what the apple pie life is like? Is she hot?_

 **Dan:** _way to display the deep-set internal belief of gender roles._

 **PJ:** _Ugh, fine. Is HE hot?_

Dan thought for a second. He would be lying if he said that Phil wasn’t attractive, because he clearly was. After all, Dan had found himself looking at the man from time to time.

 **Dan:** _Very._

 

 “That’s not fair! Give it back!”

“No, _I_ want to play with it!”

“But _I_ had it first!”

A variety of little voices rising into heated tones was what caused Dan to put his phone away and look for the source of the commotion. From afar, he was able to identify Dil, Tabitha, and Erica bickering loudly from across the room. Erica stood angrily in front of the two with her hands on her hips as she held a toy lion. Dil’s expression looked more annoyed than irate while Tabitha’s voice rose above the girl before her. With the way the volume escalated, he knew the situation was getting out of hand.

Uh oh.

Concerned, Dan pulled himself up and wandered over to the group of kids, and saw that Phil began to approach them as well.

“Whoa, what’s going on here?” Phil asked as the three children broke their little quarrel and stared guiltily up at their teacher.

It was silent for a moment, and it seemed like none of the kids wanted to speak up until Tabitha began to point an accusing finger towards Erica.

“She started it!”

The girl in question glared icily at Tabitha.

“No I didn’t!” The lion in her hand was now hidden behind her back, Dan could see. He pursed his lips thoughtfully and looked to Phil whose face adorned a calculating look. Finally, the teacher’s eyes landed on Dil.

“Dil, will you please tell me what happened?”

Dan knew that his son hardly got into trouble, and he always disliked being scolded or questioned. The poor boy was probably scared out of his mind if he had his teacher involved.

“Erica took away the lion when I was playing with it first. I told her that it wasn’t fair, but she still took it and didn’t give it back.” Dil sighed in defeat, as if the little dispute was seriously irritating him as an inconvenience.

Phil looked to Erica with a raised eyebrow.

“Did you take the lion while Dil was playing with it?”

The little girl retrieved the plaything from behind her back as a shameful expression fell over her face. She set it on the ground and crossed her arms, and promptly looked down.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did!” Tabitha cried, “I saw it! I was playing with Dil when Erica came and took it from him. It’s not nice to take things without asking first like Mr. Lester said.”

Erica shot daggers at the dark-haired girl before she dropped her gaze back down to the floor.

Dan couldn’t help but find the small feud slightly adorable, though he knew what a big deal it was to the small children. Life was easier when all you had to worry about was the harsh decision of eating Coco Pops or Frosties for breakfast, wasn’t it?

“…I did, Mr. Lester. I’m sorry.” Erica huffed out, finally admitting to her actions.

The teacher’s face softened as he kneeled down to their level and gave her an appreciative smile.

“Thank you, Erica. Why did you take the lion away without asking Dil?”

She looked between the adults and her classmates around her and sighed. “I just wanted to play with it too.”

“Remember what we talked about in class on the first day of school?”

She nodded guiltily, “Ask nicely when you want your turn.”

“Good.” Phil responded, pleased with her answer. “Do you have something you would like to ask Dil?”

Erica turned to Dil shyly with her fingers fiddling between the fabric of her jumper and spoke in a small voice.

“I’m sorry. Can I play with the lion too?”

Dil knelt down to grab the lion in his small hands and offered it to her with a smile. “Yes, you can. Here you go.”

The two adults stood in quiet amusement as the tension between the small children cleared up. Idly, Dan wondered if Phil _really_ had children of his own, and if he did, he was probably an extremely good role-model for them. Even from the start, Phil displayed his gentleness, care, and authority towards his class and treated them kindly without patronizing them one way or another. The man was truly a child at heart and it was distinctly palpable that he was passionate towards his job.

It had Dan thinking.

He realized that he really did not know anything about the guy apart from his work. And strangely, the desire to know Phil Lester as _Phil_ was something he didn’t know he had wanted before. Would it be strange to ask him out for coffee or – _no no no_ , that was dangerous territory. What was Dan thinking? They had just started to become friends while he literally almost obliterated that possibility just a week and a half ago. Dan almost laughed at himself.

Satisfied with the outcome of the little ordeal, Phil appreciated their kindness and dismissed them before playtime was over.

Dan hummed thoughtfully once they were left to themselves.

“So I guess valiant knight that protects the land against unicorn impersonators also acts as the peacekeeper of four year olds?”

Phil laughed heartily as the two settled down at one of the small crafting tables. Dan tried not to think about how their legs were nearly touching, until Phil began to speak again.

“It can be pretty intense at times. You wouldn’t believe the fits some get into over a toy car. God forbid they fight over a swing set. That had to be taken out of the school because so many of the kids were always arguing about it.”

Dan huffed out a laugh. He could just imagine the chaos Phil had to deal with over the most ridiculous things the kids brought to him.

“Oh, the hard life before growing up,” Dan humoured. “Or in that case, the struggle between earning your spot on the swing versus paying taxes in due time.”

Phil snorted and shrugged, “There’s nothing like it I suppose.”

The silence that followed was comfortable for once. The two sat quietly while their eyes roamed the vicinity and waited for the timer to go off. Phil was still looking rather tired, Dan noted, but he didn’t want to ask about it. He was probably thinking of crawling into bed with a movie to watch – which Dan thought sounded inviting.

The rain was still falling, as it could be heard from the rooftops and against the wind that swept the droplets to crash against bleary windows. The outside was cast into a grey hue, and Dan was overcome with an odd sense of calm. The sound of the storm and the chatter and laughter of the class contented him, almost lulling him into sleepiness.

Their proximity to one another was close enough that Dan was able to feel the teacher’s body heat, which Dan found himself slightly leaning into.

“You know they keep me young.” Phil stated, blue eyes drooping. “I may be almost thirty but I’m probably more of a man-child than an actual man.”

Dan hummed and nodded in agreement.

That statement was clear enough.

“Yeah? How long have you been a teacher?”

The younger man glanced up at Phil whose eyebrows were pulled together in thought.  

“I’ve been a teacher for almost eight years. I used to work different schools all over the place, and I landed some steady jobs from time to time. Unfortunately though, a lot of the times I worked on contracts, so I never really had the opportunity to stay permanently at a school. So, here I am.”

Dan couldn’t help but wonder if Phil had been working as a teacher at other schools, there must have been a significant difference in pay in contrast to his position now. Dan, of course, didn’t inquire about that aspect. However, he also did wonder if Phil actually liked working here as a nursery school teacher. Surely he must have multiple teaching credentials if he had worked at other schools.

Dan watched as Phil’s lips upturned as he thought. “Some of the classes I taught were really terrible. Secondary school students were the worst.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Dan commented, and they both huffed out little chuckles in agreement. God, Dan had hated secondary school.

“But yeah,” Phil continued, examining his hands. “I like teaching. And I especially enjoy teaching here, so that’s that.”

Dan smiled in response, internally glad that Phil genuinely was interested in his job. After working in the classroom for a few weeks, Dan was able to begin to understand why. He remembered how daunting and frightening it all seemed in the beginning, but now he looked forward to his time at the little school. The classroom kept his mind occupied, and the positive atmosphere lifted up his spirits every single day. 

Besides, he was able to spend his days with his son, watching him learn and grow with new friends, knowledge, and creativity. Not to mention he worked for and beside the accompaniment of Phil, who was really just a lovely person to be around.

“What about you Dan?” Phil asked suddenly, catching Dan off-guard. “I’m sorry, what?”

“What do you do?” The teacher elaborated with a small smile, his soft gaze fell on him and Dan’s mouth grew dry.

“Oh um.”

Should Dan tell him? There wasn’t any harm in doing so, unless Phil asked what specific station he worked for, he would be fine. The thought of Phil tuning into his show made his heart beat a little faster.

“I’m a radio dj and host,” he coughed and adjusted himself by sitting up straighter. “It’s nice, really. I quite like it.”

Phil’s eye widened with interest, “Oh! That sounds like a fun job. What station are you on?”

Then he had to go and ask that question. Oh God, Phil was going to tune into his show and hear his stupid Winnie the Pooh voice, oh he couldn’t do this.

“Uh, R-Radio One,” he answered, voice slightly quivering. It was stupid because Dan had no reason to be so nervous. He practically talked to the man every single day, so why would it make him anxious for Phil to listen to him work?

“Cool, I’ll remember to request a song one day.”

And that would be the day Dan would be a nervous wreck for the first time on his show in years.

The shrill of digital tones startled Dan as Phil’s timer went off. Amidst Dan’s sudden nervousness toward attending to work that night, he played a convincing smile and told him he couldn’t wait.

 

The end of the school day was winding down, and the rain had thankfully stopped. Still, the air was cold and brisk with a chilling breeze that swept across the schoolyard, scattering around the fallen leaves. All of the children were standing outside with Dan in Phil, bundled up in their coats and scarves as each of them were sent home for the weekend.

“See you all on Monday! Have a great weekend.” Phil had chorused to the class as they filed away to their mums and dads.

Dan was busy sending a child to their parents when a shriek alarmed him, causing him jump.

“ _ERICA!_ ”

Oh, that did not sound pretty.

Upon turning around, Dan observed the scene before him.

First, there was Dil. Then there was Erica, followed by her angry mother.

Except all that Dan was able to comprehend at that moment was his son on the ground, drenched in muddy rainwater. The boy’s dark jeans were soaked as dirty water seeped into his favourite jumper. The good news was that Dil didn’t seem hurt, however, he looked shocked.

Almost immediately, Dan hurried his way to his son.

“Oh Dil, are you alright?” Dan asked, concern etched all over his face. “What happened?”

When his son picked himself off the ground, he looked to the one little Erica Pendleton standing smugly from afar, and before he knew it, Dil’s eyes were full of tears and streaming quietly down his face.

Of course, Dan wasn’t thinking, he panicked. Dil never cried, and he was starting to freak out until the angry mother caught his attention again. Dan stood still as he processed the information.

Erica. Dil. Puddle.

Erica pushed Dil. The little brat pushed his son into a puddle and made him cry.

Sure, one was able to rile Dan up with insults aimed toward him, hell he could have been punched in the face and beaten up, but the anger he felt for this little girl and her mother was on a whole other level. Someone hurt his son, and he was _fuming._

It had taken all of Dan’s willpower to not march over there and tell that woman off right then and there, but instead he comforted his boy by engulfing Dil into a warm hug, disregarding the wetness on his clothes. He picked him up and held the four year old against his chest, hushing into his ear to soothe the crying boy. He sniffed and shook, but didn’t wail as little arms gripped around Dan’s neck as he spoke softly against his curly hair.

“Shhh, Dil it’s okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Dil sniffed and mumbled against his neck, “She pushed me, daddy. Why did she push me? I didn’t do a-anything to her, but she s-still pushed me.”

Dan hushed him some more and tried to calm him down. The boy was freezing now that his clothes were wet -- Dan only held him tighter.

That’s when Phil appeared with a worried look on his face.

“What’s happened? Is Dil okay?”

Dil shifted his head around so that he could face his teacher and wiped his eyes before nodding.

“I’m okay, Mr. Lester. Erica pushed me into the puddle and I got wet.”

“Oh my word, I am so sorry!” An unfamiliar voice cried from behind them. Dan spun around and discovered the mother whose eyes were looking over Dil with a sense of guilt. Oh man, was Dan about to give her an earful.

“ _Excuse me._ ” Dan snapped harshly, causing the woman to blink in surprise. She took a few tentative steps back as he marched closer to her. “Your daughter has caused trouble for my son _all day._ How would you-“

Suddenly he was interrupted by a firm grip to his shoulder.

“Wha-“

“Hey,” it was Phil. Of course it was Phil. He was speaking in that same soft tone whenever Dan was worked up. Though, Dan was having none of it – he wanted to give that mother a piece of his mind.

“Dan, it’s okay. I know you’re angry, but there are kids and parents watching.”

“But-“ Dan began to protest, but Phil cut him off once more.

“No Dan, not here. Please. Let me take care of it. Come on, take a deep breath.”

Dan wanted to be defiant and yell at her anyway, but underneath his anger, he knew Phil was right. He began to take deep breaths as Phil instructed, and attempted to cool down, despite the autumn weather against his skin.

The teacher had placed two warm hands on his shoulders and held them there firmly. His eyes met Dan’s as he started to gain back his composure. “There, that’s good. You alright?”

Dan heaved a sigh and dropped his gaze. “Yeah, I’m good. Thanks.”

Phil smiled at him with reassurance and let go of his shoulders. He turned back around to the mother and daughter and regarded them with an unreadable expression.

The woman stepped forward again. “I’m _really_ sorry. Please forgive my daughter’s behaviour – I don’t know what’s gotten into her.” She told Dan apologetically before looking down at the little girl beside her with a stern expression, “ _Erica,_ say you’re sorry this instant.”

Erica scuffed her shoe against the pavement and avoided everyone’s gaze.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured reluctantly. Dan was having none of that, and neither was Phil if the skeptical look on his face told him anything.

Phil frowned, “Erica, what are you sorry for?”

A sigh left her lips as she mumbled out another response, “For pushing Dil into the puddle.”

“Why did you push Dil into the puddle?”

All that earned the teacher was a shrug, and Dan was beginning to get aggravated by this little girl, though he kept his mouth shut.

“ _Erica,_ ” Phil warned, “come on, why did you?”

She was silent for a moment before she stepped closer to her mum’s legs as she shied away in embarrassment. “Because,” she started. For a second, she looked like she might cry until she clenched her fists and burst out.

“It’s not fair!”

Dan was puzzled, and judging by the expressions on the adults’ faces, so was everyone else.

“What’s not fair?” Phil asked curiously.

“Because,” she sighed and looked at the ground in defeat. “Dil always plays with Tabitha and never with me. It’s not fair.”

Ah, so it was about jealously.

Phil’s face grew with realization, though Dan didn’t know why, and gave the girl a firm look.

“Remember, Erica. All you have to do is ask nicely. Like earlier when you wanted your turn, you don’t have to be mean to someone to get what you want or don’t have. Do you understand?”

Erica nodded solemnly with sad eyes. “Yes, Mr. Lester… I’m really sorry, Dil. I shouldn’t have pushed you. I’m sorry for ruining your clothes… and I don’t like it when you cry.”

Dil, who was still held in Dan’s arms, simply nodded and turned away. Dan didn’t blame him.

Without an answer from Dil, Erica’s mother stepped up to the plate again. “I really am sorry. I truly am. We will be on our way now.”

The mother and daughter gave hasty waves of a goodbye before they turned and left, Dan could hear the woman scolding her child as they went.

“Well,” Dan said flatly and glanced at the teacher. “That was… strange. Not gonna lie, I’m still pissed off.”

Phil smirked at him and shoved his hands into his pockets. “That’s understandable… I think Erica might fancy Dil.”

Dan’s eyes widened at the comment. “Really?”

Phil only chuckled lightly in response – Dil oblivious to what the meaning of their conversation meant.

“Yes, I see it all the time. But what’s important right now it getting him warm and into dry clothes, yeah? I have some blankets inside.” The teacher poked Dil’s cheek with a smile, intent on cheering him up. “I also have some hot chocolate. Would that make you feel better, Dil?”

Almost instantly, Dil squirmed in Dan’s arms and wanted to be let down, he quickly obliged as he stared, a little surprised towards his son’s change in attitude.

“Yes!” Dil chirped as Phil headed straight to the door. The boy quickly trailed behind him like an excited puppy, his feet squishing with his soaked shoes. “Do you have marshmallows?”

Phil grinned down at Dil and his enthusiasm and nodded, “Of course I do! Come on, your dad can have some too.”

When the older man caught Dan’s gaze, he blinked. A little flurry of something was happening inside his stomach – Dan didn’t know what – as his heart spread with warmth towards Phil’s care and his endless kindness. This man was a godsend.

And he made his son smile.

“Oh uh,” Dan stuttered a bit when Phil’s eyes melted within his own. He’d be stupid to not take up the offer. “Of course. Yeah.”

A delighted smile graced the teacher’s face as well his son, who beamed up at him, and pulled his father alongside him with a wet hand. Phil led the little family back into the warmth of the building just as the rain began to fall once more.

A little while later found Dan laughing hysterically, and warmed from his head to his toes with a cup of hot chocolate. Dil was wrapped snugly in a blanket, grinning from ear to ear as he listened to his teacher  inaccurately retell a fable he commonly shared with his class, complete with his ridiculous voice impressions.

Dan tried not to think about how much he wanted this for the rest of time, and how much of a good parent Phil would be, or possibly was. If the man had someone at home, Dan was extremely jealous of them, and hoped they truly appreciated Phil for the person he was.


	5. five.

Dan would be lying if he said that October wasn’t one of his favourite months. The leaves had fallen completely off now barren trees and the crispness of the autumn air had finally settled in for the next couple of months. Most importantly, Halloween was just around the corner and he couldn’t wait for the endless horror film marathons to start rolling through the television as well as the stocks of discounted candy that waited to be consumed.

Dan had taken Dil out trick-or-treating for the first time the past year, and the boy had absolutely loved it. Louise and Darcy had accompanied the small family by walking around the little neighborhood and received some sweets for them to bask on for the next few weeks.

Something about the decorations and the holiday gave the month of October a welcome feeling, for Dan at least.

Phil had texted him about plans for the children for the upcoming week before Halloween. In fact, text messaging was something he and Phil were doing plenty of these days. Before, Phil would simply text Dan to let him know that he needed him for a specific day – which was almost every single morning since he volunteered. Of course, Dan did not mind at all. It had started to fall perfectly into his routine and he enjoyed it quite a lot.

It was safe to say that  _not_  being there at the school was strange.

The text messages became more frequent, and soon it was as if they were two old friends talking to one another about what the other was doing, or about some random and unimportant topic. Everything between them fell into a nice easiness.

Dan was sat in the lounge on a Sunday night watching a ridiculously cheesy horror film while Dil slept away in his bedroom. A heaviness found its way to Dan’s eyes as he followed the movie’s progression, a tad bit amused by the movie’s poor effects.

Phil had been texting him before Dan had put Dil to sleep as it was now nearly 11pm. They had started off with the usual discussion for the plans at the school, and like in the recent month, they predictably fell into casual conversation.

**Phil**

_this horror film im watching is terrible!! theres an unrealistic amount of blood for a single stab wound? who allowed this?_

 

Dan chuckled lightly before he shifted his eyes back to his TV – which, coincidentally – was showing exactly the same thing Phil had described. At least he knew the guy was taking advantage of the month’s runs of ‘scary’ movies just as he was.

**Dan**

_oh god, we must be watching the same film. is there a woman that’s screaming towards every single thing? sounds like a dying cat?_

**Phil**

_yeah! and theres a beefy looking guy which im starting suspect who doesn’t own many shirts bc hes never wearing one._

**Dan**

_yep, that’s the one. and seriously, if he’s fighting off the stupid murderer with a cheesy mask he could just die in one go bc literally nothing is protecting him like ‘haha! clothes? layers? whats that? fight me m8’ and he’ll just get rekt bc of all his naked skin_

 

**Phil**

_hahaha! what else would u expect from a film called ‘The Masked Murderer’ of all things?_

That was usually how their interactions had advanced in the last month, and it never failed to make Dan smile like a fool when they texted each other about stupid things like terrible production value.

Okay, Dan definitely had a small crush on his son’s nursery school teacher. It was evident from the beginning – and he had not thought about it too much.

Of course, the realization didn’t mean anything to Dan – after all it was just a simple little crush which he didn’t need or care to worry about. It would only make things complicated for himself internally and in their new friendship if he did actually try to pursue something deeper between them.

It would also be entirely too risky – especially after Dan had almost fucked up any potential acquaintanceship almost a month ago. Yeah, Dan was definitely okay with being friends. The line between school teacher and pupil’s parent had begun to blur after Dan amended the little dilemma weeks ago.

Though, something Dan had noticed in the last few weeks was that he had begun to gradually stay a little longer after-hours at the school. More often than not, he would find himself deep into conversation with Phil who was either telling him about his strange family events or making Dan a cup of coffee. Dil didn’t seem to mind staying, for he was willing to have the playroom to himself, and didn’t bother to inquire about when it was time to go home.

It was really nice sit down and chat with someone new. Dan discovered that it was extremely refreshing – partly because Phil was unlike any person he had ever encountered. The man was quirky and the human equivalent of sunshine displayed in front of the children, and then once everything calmed down and everyone had gone home, ‘Mr. Lester’ turned into ‘Phil’.

Don’t get Dan wrong, he loved the way he interacted with the small kids – he was animate and indulgent with his teaching. The Phil he was beginning to know was just as kind and good-hearted as when he worked.

The differentiation that had pulled at Dan’s mind began as the little bond between them grew, and it intrigued him.

Phil set his himself into a person that his class was never afraid of – like the scary and condescending headmasters Dan had dealt with during his time at school. No, Phil was understanding and had always validated anything the kids had to say regardless of their age. He was never patronizing or scolding them for doing something ‘wrong’ unless it was mean or destructive in any way towards themselves or to the class around them. Dan truly admired Phil for that, and he deemed himself and Dil fortunate to have such a good school teacher to work with, and for his son to be taught by.

Absently, Dan’s lips curled upwards into a little smile as he thought about the blue-eyed man. The shitty film he had been watching had already ended, and it was probably best that he head off to get some shut-eye.

He rubbed a palm over his eyes and yawned as he sat up, wincing a bit because of the uncomfortable position he had been settled in for the past hour.

 

**Phil**

_wow that ending was disappointing_

 

**Dan**

_like honestly anything could have happened, an alien could have just decided to vaporize everyone and that’s how it would end ffs_

**Phil**

_I feel like it would have been a better ending in that case_

**Dan**

_remember, phil the film was literally called “the masked murderer”_

**Phil**

_yeah that’s true.. oh well. looks dying-cat-screaming lady didn’t make it after all. anyway, it’s getting late and I should be sleeping soon. Ill see you tomorrow!! bye dan, sleep well._

Dan was way ahead of him, for he was slowly trudging his to way his own bedroom while squinting at the phone’s screen. Which ultimately proved to be a poor decision because he totally just walked straight into the wall adjacent to the hallway.

Of course Dan would.

He cursed under his breath and groaned before he began to text back.

 

**Dan**

_yeah same im going to bed now. goodnight, phil :)_

Did… Dan just text him a blushy-smiley emoji? Ugh, whatever. He was far too sleep-deprived to dwell on the insignificant little emoticon. Instead, he hastily shucked off his trousers and discarded his shirt across the room before he fell asleep in his bed with a contented sigh.

 

 

 

“Daddy, can we get Lucky Charms this time?”

After a rather eventful day at Dil’s school, both father and son found themselves shopping around in Tesco. The curly-haired little boy was sat in the trolley while Dan wheeled him around the shop up and down the aisles.

Dil was pointing at a box of the sugary marshmallow cereal with a hopeful gleam in his eyes, and Dan found it difficult to say no.

He pursed his lips and hummed contemplatively.

“Okay. But only this once, alright?”

A grin split across Dil’s face as he nodded vigorously.

“Alright, daddy. Thank you!”

Dan smiled at him fondly before he grabbed the box off the shelf and set it beside Dil in the basket. What else did Dan need? Oh, that’s right. He needed to purchase some cupcake mix to bake for the class later on in the week.

Phil and Dan had agreed that they would host a little Halloween party for the children on the Friday before Halloween – which was that weekend. The teacher figured it would be a good idea for everyone to have the opportunity to show off their Halloween costumes followed by a nice little treat for them.

Dan maneuvered the cart around, though he was unaware of the person behind him when his own cart clashed into the other’s.

A bit startled, Dan turned around to apologize.

“I’m sorry about tha-“

“Oh hello, Dan.” The voice interrupted him shortly, causing Dan to halt abruptly when he heard just who it was.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

The lady that stood before him made Dan want to turn around and brisk his way out of the store in an instant. Dan’s eyes scanned over her with reluctant scrutiny, taking in her pale arms crossed tightly over her chest in a manner that made Dan feel like he was set up for interrogation – which reminded him that he  _really_  did not want to deal with any of the drama that had occurred a few weeks ago. Dan had hardly thought about it now, sure he would still receive insistent messages, but fortunately they were dispersed through time rather than it being every single damn day.

It was actually quite ridiculous that Dan had learned to deal with it, but it was for the best.

The smile that curled around her face gave her a stoic and plastic-like aura that immediately sent uneasiness within Dan’s nerves. Short red hair was pulled away from her round face with wide green eyes that eerily reminded him of an owl.

It was just Dan’s luck, wasn’t it?

Dan was quick to get his bearings when her eyes shifted a leery gaze towards Dil who only peered up at her with innocent curiosity.

Right, Dan would just need to make this short. He had absolutely no desire to stay here and chat with his ex’s best friend.

“Hello, Eliza.”

The air around them seemed to still when Dan opened his mouth. The woman’s smile faltered ever-so-slightly, making the blankness in her eyes stab sharply into his glaring brown ones.

“How’ve you been, Daniel?”

Dan pulled his eyebrows together as irritation began to sting at his nerves. Most people Dan was associated with knew that he disliked being addressed by his full name, the only exception being his grandma or his mum.

He could feel the hinges of his jaw growing taut as his fingers dug into his palm.

Dan nodded stiffly, “I’m fine, thank you. And yourself?”

“I’m great. Thanks for asking,” the venomous smile was brought back to her face as she turned and looked down at Dil sat in the cart, oblivious to the tension that hung around them. It occurred to Dan that Dil didn’t know Eliza, if the slight hesitance and unfamiliarity he was displaying told him anything.

“How about this little one right here?” Eliza chirped sweetly, making Dil jump at her sudden change of tone. “Has daddy been treating you well?”

Dan rolled his eyes to himself. As far as Dan knew, Eliza thought he was some demon father sent from Lucifer himself. Of course she would ask a question like that. Though, it did add to Dan’s brimming irritation.

Dil’s face broke into a bright smile, causing Dan to let a little warmth of happiness settle in his chest.

“Yeah! My daddy is the best in the whole world!”

Dan could feel fondness creeping into his heart at his son’s words. On the other hand, he couldn’t contain the certain smugness that leapt its way into him just then. He shifted his eyes to Eliza who was now holding a deep frown on her face.

They met gazes and Dan let a self-satisfied smirk cross his face, which only served to deepen the lines on her forehead.

However, the look was gone in a second, and it didn’t sit right with Dan one bit as she broke their heated glare and smiled kindly towards Dil again.

“You know, Dil.” Eliza started with a falsely soft tone, “Mummy really misses you.”

Dan stiffened almost immediately when she said the m-word. She did not say that, she didn’t.  _No no no_ , Dan feared that Dil would eventually inquire about his mum. Dil had been too young to understand what was happening all those years ago.

To be honest, he hadn’t built a well-thought-out answer when the scenario played itself in his head. He was absolutely terrified that Dil would think he was somehow broken for not having a mum in his life. Oh God, what was Dan going to say?

Anger was boiling underneath his skin now, just beside the dread that was sitting low in his gut.  _How dare she?_

Dan’s panicked gaze fell onto his son whose little face was now adorned with curious interest. He looked to Dan for affirmation.

“Mummy?”

Dan opened his mouth to speak, but Eliza quickly cut him to the chase, making him wince with prickling annoyance.

“Yes ‘Mummy’.” She confirmed and looked to Dan with a pleased smile.

“Your mummy misses you tons, don’t you want to see her? Everyone has a mummy and daddy – like all your friends at school. Including you, Dilly.”

It was laughable to say that Dan was not, in fact, fuming at that moment. In the back of his mind, he wondered how she knew Dil was attending school – he hadn’t even told Summer that the boy started his first year. It was probably common sense - whatever.

Either way, the rushing panic, the brewing anger, and the weight of his fears had just released like a stampede inside of him. Idly, Dan knew it would be a terrible idea to cause a scene in front of his kid as well as all the peaceful passersby that were tending to their own business around them.

Dan sucked in a heated breath and delivered Eliza with a bitter gaze that held all of the indignant emotions swelling within him. The woman only grinned complacently in response.

He tore his eyes away from her and looked down at his son whose face was twisted up in thought. There was no doubt in Dan’s mind that Dil was surely questioning everything he had ever known.

A lot of questions were to be answered later on.

With gritted teeth and fire pumped through his veins, Dan decided that it was time to go home - he didn’t want to bother with the woman anymore.

 “I think we best be going now, Eliza. It was nice seeing you.” Of course, that last remark was a complete lie, but for the sake of keeping the peace, he had just smiled his way through it.

 His reaction only boosted her smugness as she winked an owlish eye at him and turned to leave the cereal aisle.

 “Alright, then. I’ll see you guys soon, okay? Remember what I said, Dil. Mummy wants to see you soon!”

 And with that, Eliza strode away with a skip in her step that Dan didn’t miss. He hated everything right now.

 A can of worms had just been opened and Dan would have to deal with it.

 He couldn’t lie to his son and tell him that Eliza wasn’t telling the truth, if anything, it would make things worse between them in the future. There was no way in hell that Dan would let Dil think for one second that something was wrong with him - he would gladly blame himself for everything that had happened in the past. But God, what was Dan going to tell him? How was he going to explain to his four-year-old son that his mother hated his father and that was why she was never there? Many factors came into play with that particular situation that Dan didn’t want to explain to Dil just yet - the boy was too young to understand the hurtful carelessness she harboured as a mother.

 It was simply too much for a child as small as his own son.

 The conversation was soon brought up when the little family arrived home just a while later. Dan had finished putting all of the groceries away when Dil wandered into the kitchen with his crayons and colouring-book in hand. Dan listened to the small footsteps pad across the floor and the screech of one of the dining chairs scrape against the tile. He braced himself when the question rose into the air.

 “Daddy, do I really have a Mummy?”

 The way the words hung in the air were innocently curious, and perhaps a little bit hopeful to Dan’s ears.  _Well here goes nothing._

 “Yes, Dil.” He answered simply and waited for the next tumble of questions that were sure to come.

 A wave of silence swept around them before Dil’s little voice broke it again.

 “Where is she? Why isn’t she here?”

 Dan chewed on his lip for a second before he set down the pot of water on the stove he would need for dinner that night. He would try his best to explain to him in a way that the boy would be able to comprehend.

 “She’s been away for a long while, Dil.” Dan started with a sigh as he leaned against the countertop. “Sometime mummies and daddies don’t get along very well and they don’t live together.”

 It wasn’t a lie at all. It just wasn’t the whole truth – which should be held for conversation in the future when Dil grew a little older – but Dan felt he’d worded his answer right.

 Dan watched silently as Dil scribbled colour into his book thoughtfully. The boy looked up momentarily with a questionable little curve to his eyebrows.

 “Do you and mummy not get along then?”

 Dan shook his head sadly.

 “No, we don’t get along much.”

 Dil simply nodded and resumed whatever little art project he was doing. Dan looked over him, puzzled, because the reactions he was receiving were unreadable to him. Dil didn’t seem angry, or upset. Perhaps the boy didn’t need further explanation than that.

Dan shrugged to himself before he started up the stove.

 “Will I ever get to see her?”

 Dan froze.

 The sadness that dripped from his son's question nearly made Dan's heart break. It was as if the world dropped from beneath his feet, making Dan feel weightless from the realization that he had been wrong. Was Dan holding Dil back from the possible relationship between mother and son? Oh God, was Dan actually doing more harm than good? Were Eliza and Summer right about him?

He casted a glance to his son and it nearly broke him. The boy looked absolutely hopeless with all the crestfallen features of his face that weighed him down.

Dan closed his eyes to mask the whirlwind of emotions scattered inside of him. He would have to do a ton of rethinking – he couldn’t stand to see his boy so dejected.

When he opened his eyes again, he tried to smile – it was false, he knew. He hoped it displayed some sort of reassurance nonetheless.

“Yes, you will,” Dan finally said, and he felt far too heavy with those words. “You will.”

The bright smile he was delivered with was an answer within itself.


	6. (Major update)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Not a chapter*
> 
> Link for [#updates](http://mindtrip.tumblr.com/tagged/updates)
> 
> if, for some reason that doesn't work, here's the web address http://mindtrip.tumblr.com/tagged/updates

holy cow, where do I begin? first of all, I would like to apologize for completely falling off the face of the earth with the updates. I hit an incredibly bad case of writer’s block, and I lost a lot of my motivation to write in general. I am also sorry for the false dates, and all the things I said would be done for the fic within due time, and it never being done. I completely feel remorse for letting many of you down and getting your hopes up.

I’d also like to add that this was my very first time that I’ve decided to *regularly* update a story and.. well yeah that didn’t work out so well. however, that doesn’t take away the fact that I said a new chapter was coming and that it was coming soon and yet it never came - I’m so incredibly sorry for that, I truly am.

In light of this, I think I’ve sorted out what I can and cannot handle, and I’m deciding to rewrite and tweak the story. (it’s not going to be a completely different fic, just some structural and grammatical changes will be done)  
(maybe a title change as well)  
(everything’s quite messy right now, it’s begging for improvements)

Honestly, I was too eager to write and put my work out there. then I noticed it gathered a following, which made me really happy! unfortunately though, the idea of having an audience who depended on me with deadlines I promised began to feel overwhelming, and thus, sometimes i felt pressure to write even when I wasn’t in the mood.

so right now, I’m planning to temporarily remove the fic so that major work can be done to it, and eventually it’ll be complete! Once I feel confident, and carefully construct it, then there will be regular updates. ultimately, the story is going to be written, updated, and finished.

right now I’m unable to tell you exactly when it will be back up, but I encourage you to check my [#updates](http://mindtrip.tumblr.com/tagged/updates) tag because I’ll still be keeping everyone up to date with what I’m writing!

again, I’m very sorry for totally abandoning it and for getting all of your hopes up this last year when I answered all your inquiries about it making a comeback, I promise that won’t happen ever again.

thank you to everyone who has encouraged me, followed, and commented! knowing that you enjoyed it was my fuel to keep going, and to continue writing - because I love it, and I love making you happy!


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